Melania Trump Just Too #BeBest For ‘Vogue’ Cover
Former first lady Melania Trump has returned to public life, and she’s been out there hawking her so-called “NFT project.”
This the CNN description of that, and we dare you to read it all the way to the end:
The former first lady has designed and put up for sale on her personal website several non-fungible tokens, which are digital collectibles authenticated by the blockchain that is often a piece of digital art. All of the items Trump is selling can only be purchased via cryptocurrency, and the first lot of items put up for sale earlier this year failed to reach its desired monetary threshold of $250,000 for an opening bid.
Just a few days ago, cryptocurrency seemed to meet the fate of unattended goldfish, so Trump’s timing is only slightly worse than her choice in life partners.
Trump’s interview with Fox News host Pete Hegseth was her first since leaving the White House. Most former first ladies promote not-for-profit foundations or organizations, but Trump would only say that "some of the proceeds” from her NFT project would go toward helping foster children. That’s sketchily noncommittal.
The otherwise fawning interview shifted to petty when Hegseth asked Trump how she felt about Vogue magazine never putting her on the cover as first lady. Actual functioning first ladies Michelle Obama and Jill Biden have both graced the cover, as well as a Chucks-wearing Kamala Harris, who is the goddamn vice president.
In first interview since leaving the WH, Melania is asked, \u201cWith your business background, and your fashion background, and your beauty, never on the cover of Vogue?\u201d \nA - \u201cThey\u2019re biased .. I had much more important things to do .. in the WH than be on the cover of Vogue.\u201dpic.twitter.com/OPENMbpcl5— Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1652529887
Hegseth said, "With your business background, and your fashion background, and your beauty, never on the cover of Vogue? Why the double standard?”
Melanie responded with her typical absence of class and grace: "They’re biased and they have likes and dislikes, and it’s so obvious. And I think American people and everyone sees it. It was their decision, and I have much more important things to do—and I did in the White House—than being on the cover of Vogue.” From what we can tell, these important things included … well, a whole lot of nothing, unless you count her Scarlet Witch-inspired Christmas decorations.
Trump and her ugly-ass wedding dress appeared on the cover in 2005, so she hasn't been completely snubbed. It’s just that Vogue wanted no part of her once her nightmare family infested the White House. Vogue editor Anna Wintour hilariously avoided even discussing Melania Trump during an Economist podcast.
It’s not a surprise, though, that Melania would go hardcore MAGA “victim." This is the same charming person who was caught on tape trash-talking Christmas and refugee children.
According to her former bestie Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, Trump was a jerk to Wintour when she visited Trump Tower in late 2016. Wintour, who like any sensible person had supported Hillary Clinton, “begrudgingly reached out” to long-time acquaintance Ivanka Trump, who’d arranged a meeting with her father. Melania Trump was apparently so pissed that Wintour didn’t tell her in advance she was stopping by her house that she "didn't even say hello.”
That’s the kind of grade-school shit that’ll keep your trifling ass off the cover of Vogue. People are in fact biased toward snotty assholes who can’t even back up their own diva tantrums with anything remotely approaching talent.
When Hegseth asked if there was a chance that Trump might haunt the White House again, she said, “Never say never.” We are definitely saying “never."
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."