Metro Section: Symphony in .38 Caliber
- Attention tourists: the following will vastly cut down on the number of dirty looks you receive per hour of touring. [An OC Girl Living In An Extraordinary World]
- Not included in the guide: how do handle crazed violent psychos on the metro. [ Thoreau's Journal]
- Distinguishing the rapport of a bottle-rocket from a MAC-10 is for more advanced urban tourists. [Cruel Sommer]
- A cell of terrorist haxors has started attacking sites they find while surfing for porn. [The Gentlemen of the CPMC]
- MTV heads to Hawk n' Dove for the same reason everyone does: hard partying underage interns willing to exploit themselves. [The Hill]
