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Michael Bloomberg Seeks A Third Term As Mayor Of Tennessee, And Marco Rubio Calls Republicans 'Uppity'

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It's official: Poo poo platterBILL O'REILLY wants to finger-bang the snot out of Minnesota Medusa MICHELE BACHMANN. Say no, Michele! You have a husband, a family -- What would your son GRENDEL think? Baby Jesus himself would probably have a hernia. But Bill has a certain charm to him and he's so soft and warm, like a shard. Temptation! ...


DIRTY, DIRTY LINEN: SEN. JEFF MERKLEY (D-OR) spent four hours trying to solve a Rubik's Cube in an ill-fated attempt to rally support for death panels ... The Republicans in Washington are shrill and lazy and have serious B.O. and never place their napkins in their laps during suppertime, says MARCO RUBIO. Marco knows better, because when he was a little boy he went to cotillion ... Every night REP. ZACH WAMP (R-TN) has terrible nightmares about MICHAEL BLOOMBERG becoming mayor of Tennessee and then confiscating all of the guns in the world and placing them in a giant landfill at the bottom of the ocean ...

Have you read the tell-all book by Barney Frank's DINING ROOM TABLE, Barney Frank: The Story of America's Only Left-Handed, Gay, Pot Smokin' Jewish Congressman? It's quite something.

Riley Waggaman's WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com

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