Michael Flynn Claims Dems Invented COVID Pandemic To Steal The Election From Trump

Conspiracy theories
Michael Flynn Claims Dems Invented COVID Pandemic To Steal The Election From Trump

Former Trump adviser Michael Flynn has really, really been leaning into his role as the hero of the QAnon movement as of late — probably because he is not particularly in demand otherwise. In a recent online broadcast featuring two other random guys we can assume are also weird conspiracy theorists, Flynn explained his theory that the whole COVID-19 pandemic was fabricated so that Democrats could steal the 2020 election.


Because when you look around the world and you go well "All these other places, why aren't all these other places having the kinds of problems that we keep getting beat over the head and shoulders on in this country about when it comes to COVID?" Why? Because everything, everything, and this is my truth or what I believe. Everything is a distraction to what happened on the third of November.

So everything that we hear about COVID and that COVID started before the third of November, it's all meant to control. It's all meant to gain control of a society, to be able to force decisions on the society, instead of actually allowing We The People to make decisions. And now, with the vaccine as an example, whatever happens to the women's movement, out there for the "My Body My Choice." And yet they want to stick a needle in my arm, tell me that, well you don't have that needle, you can't get an ID card, you can't travel. Wait a second, I'm as healthy as the next person. I've been taking hydrochloroquine for 30 years.

Where do I even begin here? I suppose my first question, really, is "How is Herman Cain dead then?" Like, Herman Cain was a Trump guy. He died of COVID. If Democrats fabricated a pandemic that started in China and then killed a whole bunch of people in Italy before even making it over here, in order to steal the 2020 election ... what did Herman Cain die of? What did GOP Rep. Ron Wright die from? Were they killed by a cabal?



These questions are moot, of course, because obviously everything he's saying is extremely untrue, right down to not being able to get an ID card without a vaccine. That is in fact the first time I've heard that one, so ... good job, Michael Flynn.

Beyond anything else — this assumes a level of competency that basically no one in our government possesses. That probably no one other than cartoon villains possess. How is it that Democrats are able to pull off fabricating a worldwide pandemic to get Trump out of office, but they can't get it together to convince Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin to vote to abolish the filibuster? Really? They can't dose them with a little adrenochrome or something?

What decisions are they even forcing? I see zero decisions being forced. Flynn brings up "My body, my choice" — but while he is not, in fact, being forced to get the vaccine, the Supreme Court is on the precipice of overturning Roe v. Wade. Some nefarious Satanic Cabal we have! Totally ineffectual.

Do better, pandemic-fabricating Satanic cabal secretly controlling the world and stealing elections. Maybe take some time off from carefully injecting symbolism into everything people do and say and get us some universal health care.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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