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Michael Steele Says Another Wrong Thing, This Time About Abortion

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Five weeks ago, did any of usdream that the new chairman of the Republican Party would offer up such a cornucopia of amazing quotations and comedy opportunities? Who is this guy, with his talk of hip-hop and websites and now "choice"? Does he even know what a Republican is? (He will probably find out soon enough, once the real Republicans make him resign.)


Ever since 1776, the Republican Party platform has rested on a single idea: No abortion, ever. Oh sure, there are a couple of pro-choice Republicans out there, even if they don't get invited to all the fun parties at the quadrennial National Convention, and these pro-choice Republicans even get elected to office sometimes (dog catcher).

But for the most part, you cannot be a a pro-choice Republican on the national stage, period. CERTAINLY NOT IF YOU ARE, SAY, THE NOMINAL HEAD OF THE PARTY, who is supposed to *understand* and promote the two (2) central tenets of Republicanism which are 1) tax cuts and 2) no abortions.

Which is a very long way of saying that Michael Steele told GQ magazine this amazing thing:

Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?

Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice.

You do?

Yeah. Absolutely.

So once this news came out, Steele again had to apologize/"clarify" and say some crap about how he really does support a Constitutional amendment banning abortion.

Is it possible that Michael Steele is not a Republican human after all, but instead a sleeper agent robot hybrid designed by Rahm Emanuel for laughs? Consider.

Do it now, because he will probably be out of a job by Monday.

The Reconstructionist [GQ]

Steele, under fire, walks back 'choice' remark [Ben Smith]

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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Screenshot NRATV

DING DONG THE WITCH IS ... quite likely to land on her feet. But for today, the New York Times reports Dana Loesch is out of a job, the latest casualty in the war between the NRA and its longtime advertising company Ackerman McQueen. But every cloud has a silver bullet lining, since Dana will have more free time now to spend on her favorite hobby. We can't wait to see which cartoon character she photoshops Klan hoods onto next. Maybe she'll branch out and start putting Nazi armbands onto Buzz Lightyear. Oh, we would be so triggered!

As one of the most visible characters on NRATV with literal hundreds of viewers for each of her fascist rants, Dana Loesch was a tireless advocate for the gunhumpers lobby, always ready to call out "tragedy dry-humping whores," threatening to "fist" or perhaps "fisk" the New York Times, and expressing her hope that the Mueller Report would die in an "AIDS fire."

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