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Michelle Obama Becomes Transsexual Magazine Star, As Mayans Probably Predicted

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You are of course familiar with Candy magazine, America's first and most beloved "transversal style" periodical. (Not to be confused withCandy magazine, the magazine dedicated to Filipino youth.) Previous Candy covers have featured James Franco and Chloe Sevigny in drag because hey, why not? Those people are super boring, though, compared to this month, which stars our famous FLOTUS, Michelle Obama! No, not actual Michelle Obama, although we must acknowledge the excellent wardrobe (note sleevelessness!). The cover reads, "THE CANDYDATE," so we guess Michelle Obama is running for office and didn't bother to tell anyone except our nation's first transsexual magazine.


They say that being represented by a famous transsexual model is the sincerest form of flattery!

Brad Goreski, who styled trans model and '90s "It" girl Connie Fleming for the shoot, channeled all-around amazing person who we'd like to be one day/political fashion icon Michelle Obama, hitting the usual marks -- the structured, elegant dresses which show off her arms as well as her perfectly coiffed hair -- while serving some over-the-top patriotic realness.

We noticed that she is being "sworn in" by someone wearing some sort of lumberjack shirt, so it's even more exciting to wonder what political office Transsexual Michelle Obama is taking over now.

Candy publisher Luis Venegas told Dazed Digital (via the Fader) that he'd actually wanted to do this cover since the 2007 presidential election, when a black candidate and a female candidate were called "controversial" nominees. Reflecting on the future of politics, Venegas asks: "When [will] these archaic walls break down and the White House will be occupied by, for example, a black, transsexual woman?'"

Not to worry, Luis Venegas! We are with you, Mr. Venegas! But we'll probably want to start electing some non-felon transgender people to lower offices first.

[Papermag]

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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