Raise your glass for Rick Snyder, Michigan's governor from the party of small government and personal responsibility. Now that he's been made aware that state officials have been aware for quite some time that Flint citizens have been drinking poisoned crap water -- which is why the state delivered fresh unleaded water to state workers, on the DL -- Snyder is hoping the bastards responsible for this crisis will be held responsible.

[contextly_sidebar id="3EWsM1EwLW4eKKcr5t0UqcPf0XSEMAVv"]That's why Snyder, the bastard who forced Flint citizens to drink liquid shit from the Flint River, is turning himself in to the authorities immediately and has agreed to rot in prison for the rest of his terrible life, for the crime of poisoning children.

Haha yeah right:

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder said Tuesday that the federal government had multiple failures with respect to preventing and responding to the lead contamination of Flint’s drinking water, and he said he hopes federal officials are being asked tough questions.

“They failed to do a lot of things in this process,” Snyder, a Republican, said in Lansing.

[contextly_sidebar id="8dayWJjikulEdcvFiXWj4Rnm24LqQ4Op"]This isn't the first time Snyder has blamed The Government for poisoning an entire city. Sure, as chief executive president czar of Michigan, Snyder is technically responsible, but when you think about it and read the hundreds of very redacted emails his office released, all these government workers whose paychecks he signs are really to blame.

And when you think about it some more, you really have to wonder why federal officials allowed his administration to switch Flint's water source in the first place and failed to tell him he shouldn't do that. Why, those reckless feds didn't even force him to cooperate with the Environmental Protection Agency's investigation into claims that Flint's water was making everyone sick and looked like a piss-and-mud cocktail of death:

“I’m not going to spend time on their issue,” he said. “That will come out as time passes, in terms of not identifying the issue, not bringing it to either the state’s attention or even other people in the federal government’s attention. They still haven’t fully acknowledged all of their issues.”

You'll be shocked to know the EPA remembers it differently:

“EPA’s ability to oversee … management of that situation was impacted by resistance and failures at the state and local levels to work with EPA in a forthright, transparent, and proactive manner consistent with the seriousness of the risks to public health,” the statement said.

If only someone from the federal government had been even more forceful in trying to bring the issue to the governor's attention, well, Snyder might have started to pretend like he gave slightly more than zero fucks about it a little sooner.

On the fiscally conservative plus side, at least the families whose children are now brain-damaged from drinking lead weren't paying a premium for it. Oh wait, that's not right either:

Flint residents were paying more for their water than just about anyone else in the country. [...]

A typical Flint household could expect an annual water bill of $864 a year. That's more than twice as high as the state average. At the peak of the lead crisis Flint residents paid twice as much for water as people in New York City, more than three times as much as people in Detroit and seven times as much as Miami residents. 

[contextly_sidebar id="2qoP0aMTilhNpcOugNPejSHCcYGHUzWr"]But at least the city stopped charging residents an arm and a leg and their children's brains for the privilege of drinking toxic water. Oh no wait, that is also incorrect! As we told you in January, Flint is sending notices to residents that if they don't pay their bills for water they can't drink, well, they just might lose all their services.

Is there any good news at all that we can report to you about the unfuckingbelievable water crisis in Michigan and the evil sumbitch governor whose primary concern seems to be covering his own ass and finding someone, anyone else, to blame for the mess he made? Thinking ... thinking ...

Oh! Here's some cold comfort. Snyder will be term-limited out of the governor's mansion in two years, when he will no longer be able to cause irreparable catastrophic damage to the children of his state. It's not much, but sorry, that's the best we can do.

[Detroit Free Press / WaPo]


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