Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Says Flint's Poison Water Is MMM MMM GOOD!
he inspires such confidence
It's been a minute since we've checked in on the water situation in Flint, Michigan, to see if it's still sludgy and toxic and full of lead poops. Of course, since such a valiant conqueror as Republican Gov. Rick Snyder is on the case, it's probably all better now, and you only have to chew the water a little bit and it's back to a normal color like light brown, right? Well, he'd sure like you to think that! That's why he's doing a 30-day challenge where he actually drinks the water that comes out of the tap in Flint and tries not to die. It's like the Ice Bucket challenge except for how the ice is made of lead and it has the potential to cause diseases.
From the governor's Facespace:
Earlier today, I visited Cheryl - a #Flint resident - at her home in the city, and spoke with her about her water use and the use of filters. I also drank filtered water with her and collected filtered Flint water to personally drink at work and at home. I completely understand why some Flint residents are hesitant to drink the water and I am hopeful I can alleviate some of the skepticism and mistrust by putting words to action. #FlintFWD
Oh that's nice! He backed up a dump truck, we guess, and told all the neighborhood children to throw as much water as they could so he could take it back to Lansing and definitely actually for real drink it and not replace it with Evian, heck nope.
Look at the governor and "Cheryl." Do they look like people who are about to die of consumption? No way!
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/598852/michigan-gov-rick-snyder-outraged-feds-let-him-poison-children-of-flint"></a>[/wonkbar]"MMMMM CHERYL, this is some fine, completely good water," said Rick Snyder. "There is nothing to see here and I definitely did not cause this problem! I can't wait to feed some of this water, which is not full of leaden poison sharts, to the fancy lawyers I hired to protect me!"
Snyder DID say he was going to fix it. And look at him, fixing it with a water filter!
"Let's do a photo op, Cheryl!" Rick Snyder bunny-hopped to the sink, where he said, "I am installing this special filter, which will separate the good water from the viscous toxic piss situation I did not create!" What a fun day this was for the governor.
The Vox website would like to rain on everyone's parade for a moment, like it always does:
[B]ecause of the way lead poisoning works, an adult drinking the water doesn't tell you anything about whether it's safe for children to drink.
That's because if you have to be drinking water that's potentially laced with lead, you're least likely to suffer damage if you are, like Snyder, a middle-aged man. Lead in water is particularly harmful to children, whose brains are still developing; to pregnant women; and to the elderly.
In other words, nice water you have there, Rick Snyder. Would you feed it to your wife who was pregnant with your elderly baby? HMMMMM?
Vox does say the water IS getting a little better, and that the filters really do help, and adds that none of this changes how Rick Snyder should GO THE FUCK TO JAIL FOR CAUSING THIS.
Oh wait uh oh oops factchecky! Vox did not say the thing about go the fuck to jail. Yr Wonkette did, like we've been saying this whole time. And we'll say it again! GO TO JAIL, FUCKER.