Michigan Militia Terrorists Were Gonna Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer In A PT Cruiser, Probably

Right Wing Extremism

On Friday, a federal judge determined that there was enough evidence to charge five of the men involved with the plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Attorneys for the accused claim that they were just having First Amendment friendly conversations fantasizing about kidnapping Whitmer, which they didn't really plan on going through with.

"Our client and his family are salt of the earth people ... they are good people," said one of the attorneys representing Ty Garbin, one of the accused. "My client is not a crackpot."

Nothing says "salt of the earth" and "not a crackpot" more than plotting to kidnap the Governor of Michigan. This is a very normal thing that normal, non-crackpot people do all of the time.

Some new information has been released about these men — or "arrest" her, if you ask that one very stupid sheriff about it. Included in this information are screenshots of discussions held between the men, and a video of them doing some kind training exercise wherein they get out of a car and just start shooting. This was likely meant as tactical preparation in their kidnapping plot.

When we think of the vehicle of choice for those who are attempting to overthrow the government, we think Hummer. Or at least an SUV or a truck of some kind. Maybe a decked out minivan. Minivans are known to be big for kidnappers, at least in my imagination. Just something that seems, you know, tactical.

But these big tough militia guys didn't have one of those. They had a PT Cruiser. A PT Cruiser that at least one of them seemed to have a hard time getting out of.Behold:

At the very least, it's unexpected. No one sees a PT Cruiser and thinks it is going to be full of militia guys who have come to kidnap them. At least I wouldn't.

The released files also included some pictures they had taken in their surveillance of Whitmer's vacation home as well communications between the men that'll really put a dent in any "we were just trying to do a citizen's arrest!" defense they were planning on.

Under the codename "Beaker," one of the men wrote "Laying in bed, craziest idea. Have one person go to her house. Knock on the door and when she answers it just cap her ... at this point. Fuck it.

And another, under the codename "Tex" responds "LOL if only it would be that easy."

So that's normal. Just lying in bed thinking of shooting a woman in the head as she answers the door.

There was also a lot of talk about killing cops, which would probably be considered a super big deal if the RWNJs had been able to make that "Actually they're ANTIFA!" shit stick. Or if they actually were left-wing in any way. Right-wing terrorists have, of course, long had their own issues with law enforcement.

"DebasedTyrant" wrote:

I'm tired of being coerced, robbed and enslaved by pathetic cowards. I know there is a larger battle ahead of me so I allowed myself to be robbed this time, but our time is coming soon boy's [sic] and it's going to be satisfying. The end times are approaching for these piece of shit cops. I mean that with every cell in my body.

They have no boundaries at all alpha, none whatsoever. Morality has been completely erased and THEY create right and wrong. Fucking scum of the earth is what they are.

AlphaFuckYou responded by saying "Oh brother my rage grows just as yours does," to which Debased Tyrant said:

That is going to work in our favor when the time comes, focused righteous anger backed by truth and morality. That's a force to be reckoned with and these pieces of shit are going to feel it down to the bone, literally.

Again, need I remind you, this is pretty much just about wearing masks during a pandemic. That is what pushed these guys over the edge, to the point where they were planning to kidnap a Governor and haul her away in a PT Cruiser. They were briefly inconvenienced during a pandemic where other people were actually dying, and now they are ready for warfare. Or they were. Now they're in jail and will have to plot their overthrow of the government from there. And there ain't no four-door sedans where they're going.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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