Mick Mulvaney is a man who thinks Donald Trump is a terrible person and that he's a bad role model for America's children and that Trump's border wall obsession is dumb and stupid and juvenile and THE WORST. He also currently holds every job in the White House, including basket weaver and fluffer. (File under Best People, Trump Hires The.)

So of course Mulvaney was on the Sunday shows this weekend, because that's what the White House chief of staff budget director fairy princess cowboy astronaut dog walker does on Sundays. And he had a novel argument about what a good decision Trump made when he decided to pull troops out of Syria without a plan and announce that decision on Twitter without telling anybody, because the president of Turkey (and, let's be honest, probably the president of Russia) told him to: It's popular with IDIOTS! Just because it's not popular with people who KNOW STUFF doesn't mean it's bad, because Trump wasn't elected by people who KNOW STUFF!

Yes, if you read between the lines, it's that bad.

It came about during a discussion about the resignation of James Mattis (whom Trump has now fired, TAKE THAT, QUITTER), and host Chris Wallace noted that literally everybody who knows anything is against Trump's unplanned premature reverse ejaculation in Syria. Brett McGurk, the US envoy to the anti-ISIS coalition in Syria, resigned over it, and Trump brag-yelled that he had never met McGurk. Joseph Dunford, chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, has spoken out about the situation recently, and it's clear he sharply disagrees with Trump on the issue too. Now there are rumblings about whether Dunford might also quit.

So what Wallace wants to know, in essence, is WHO THE FUCK IS TRUMP LISTENING TO, if every single person who's supposed to be advising him on things like this is telling him the opposite of what he decided to do?

Fox News Sunday With Chris Wallace 12/23/18 - Chris Wallace Fox News December 23, 2018

WALLACE: So, here's the question. If he runs against the recommendations of Mattis, McGurk, Dunford, the chairman of joint chiefs, apparently Pompeo and Bolton, who is he listening to?

MULVANEY: Here's -- the president listens to a bunch of different people, including the people --

WALLACE: That's his national security team.

PFFFFFFT "National Security Team." Doesn't Chris Wallace know Trump knows more than the generals, because of how he heroically avoided butt syphilis during the Vietnam War, allegedly?

MULVANEY: Including the people who live here, and ordinary Americans, the people he promised when he ran for office that he was going to lead. We recognize the fact that this is unpopular within the beltway. We recognize this fact it's unpopular within the Defense Department. It's very popular with ordinary American people. The people who ran when Donald Trump --

Idiots, he means idiots. "Ordinary American people" is code for the meth mouths who voted by the tens to barely elect Donald Trump in the electoral college. As opposed to "elitists," which is defined as people who have bothered to read an article or two about the situation.

WALLACE: With all due respect to democracy and I agree with you about that, do they really know what -- do they really know what the stakes are of pulling U.S. troops out and leaving the Syrian defense force to the Turkish slaughter and what the impact is going to be on Iran? I mean, really, we are going to make this a plebiscite?

MULVANEY: Ordinary Americans have no idea about those things.

Precisely. And why would Trump listen to people who know things if he has the option to listen to dipshits who don't?

They elect a president so that he does, and he has a complete understanding of what you just laid out and the decision is his.

Haha, OK, it's the day before Christmas, and we don't have the energy for even entertaining the silly notion that President Fuckbrain Von Dumbass has a "complete understanding" of anything, much less what's happening on the ground in Syria.

We will simply note that it's rare to see so many people agree on a thing like this, and it's because, as we explained the other day, we're not arguing about the merits of whether we should still be in Syria or whether we should have gone there in the first place or what our real endgame is there. We're simply talking about whether it's a good idea to ghost our allies in the middle of a warzone and leave them to be murdered, without a plan for getting our own troops out safely and with zero forethought about what said pull-out is even trying to accomplish. Oh yeah, and people are slightly disturbed that President Foreign Agent, yet again, seems to be doing exactly what our enemies want us to do. That's why senators on #BothSides are saying "THE FUCK?" in unison, and why people are literally resigning over this.

But don't worry, Gomer the CousinFucker in southern Alabama thinks it's a cool plan, and that's all that matters, right, Mick Mulvaney?

Jesus, we live in the stupidest time.

[transcript via Fox News]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is supported ONLY by YOU. Help a website out, if you are able!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate with CC

An unhinged wannabe fascist who tweets about golden showers did a news conference in the Rose Garden this afternoon. Also, Donald Trump was there.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro is in town, and everything about today's public appearance with Trump and Bolsonaro has been real stupid, just like how it was real stupid when Bolsonaro's stupid son was the stupid guest of honor the other night at a stupid Steve Bannon event at the stupid Trump trash palace hotel in DC.

During their pool spray, Trump excitedly told reporters that he was making plans to give NATO privileges to Brazil, because of how Brazil elected a big gross dipshit just like America did. Of course, considering how Trump treats actual NATO countries, Bolsonaro might want to reconsider whether he wants that.

Then a reporter asked him about his blubbering whiny-ass attacks on John McCain, who is still dead.

That's right, Donald Trump didn't even avoid the question about his very embarrassing behavior. He spoke about McCain as if McCain were still alive, whined about McCain killing Obamacare repeal, and concluded by saying, "I was never a fan of John McCain, and I never will be." As for McCain, he will continue living rent-free in the president's nightmares and his face will be the face of Trump's insecurities, because we guess that's what happens to John McCains when they die.

But enough about the pool spray! After they met in the Oval Office and did whatever fascists who should be prohibited entry to the White House via an electric doggie fence do (sniffed each other's butts, probably), they entered the Rose Garden and proceeded to hike their legs on democracy some more.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Yep, we're breaking out the Wikimedia kitten image for this one.

CNN is out today with a story on members of the anti-vaccination/pro-disease movement who have found a delightful new way to win converts to their side in the war on science: find parents (mothers, generally) who have recently lost a child to a preventable disease, and then harass them on social media, because after all, good people refuse vaccines and anyone who advocates for vaccines must be burned to the ground. As your lawyer (we are not a lawyer), we advise you to secure any hurlable heavy objects near you before reading.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc