Donate

Mike Bloomberg Would Like You Idiots To Get Over Yourselves

321 days without a decapitation! - WonketteWe are pretty close to giving super-billionaire Michael Bloomberg one of our coveted Wonkette Presidential Endorsements because he basically just called all the candidates a bunch of fear-mongering wusses.


Reporters in New York have been harassing Bloomberg for hysterical comments about those four guys from Puerto Rico or wherever who hoped to destroy America by, er, blowing up a gas tank at JFK Airport. Mikey told them to get a life. Really, he said "Get a life." Asked whether everybody should freak out about the terrorisms, he said people have a much higher risk of being struck by lightening than hurt by terrorists, and that people should be concerned about actual things that might kill them, such as lung cancer or falling out a window:

"Make sure you have guards on your windows if you live above the ground floor and have young children; make sure you have fire detectors and change the batteries. Those are the kinds of things," he said. "But it doesn't take away from the fact there are lots of threats to you and the world. There's the threat of heart attack for genetic reasons. You can't sit there and worry about everything. Get a life!"
Mayor Aims To Quiet Fears Over JFK Terror Plot [NY1]

Earlier: The Democrats Will Kill You to Get UBL

$
Donate with CC
'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc