Mike Flynn's Brother Cured His Covid With Horse Pills, America Is Canceled
Sure, we all know Michael Flynn is a raging idiot. But have you met his family? No?
Hey, SPOILER ALERT, they are also idiots too. Like, really, really fucking stupid.
Friends, meet Joseph Flynn, one of the retired general's many siblings. Here he is with Flynn taking the QAnon oath -- or just reciting a longtime Flynn family chant, according to another Flynn brother! -- last year on the 4th of July. Guess he's one of the white dudes who isn't Michael? Whatever.
Not pictured: Gen. Charles Flynn, whom the government insisted had nothing to do with the Army's slow response to the rioters on January 6, before backtracking and admitting he was totally in the room where it happened.
Anyway! Joseph Flynn is not the asshole who hired razzledazzle libelslander lawyer Steven Biss to sue CNN for $75 million after it aired this video which Flynn himself tweeted out — that would be Jack Flynn and his lovely wife Leslie.
No, Joseph Flynn is the guy who just earned himself a time-out from Twitter for flogging Covid misinformation. Specifically, he's got it, and he's treating it with horse de-worming pills.
As Trumpland observer Ron Filipkowski noted, the newest Flynn entrant in the dumbass Olympics got put in the penalty box after tweeting that he was handling his Covid the natural way: with a 50ml bottle of Ivermectin purchased at the tractor supply store.
Joseph Flynn, social media troll, disinformation spreader, and brother of Michael Flynn, now has covid. He was susp… https://t.co/ymQY1hZ8Op— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski)1627823784.0
Like Hydroxy Boner Cream 3000 before, the wingers have decided that this anti-parasitic drug is the CURE for Covid-19, being cruelly withheld from patriotic Americans because "they" don't want you to know about it.
"No need for experimental gene altering vaccines that are likely spreading the virus… cures are available to the people being suppressed by the criminal powers that be that don't give a damn about your health but demand your submission," Flynn tweeted yesterday, in a post that appears to still be live.
No need for experimental gene altering vaccines that are likely spreading the virus… cures are available to the peo… https://t.co/DvJFcKdN6z— Joseph J Flynn (@Joseph J Flynn)1627843649.0
It all just makes too much sense! Sure, those fascists at the FDA are saying they've received "multiple reports of patients who have required medical support and been hospitalized after self-medicating with ivermectin intended for horses." But their real goal is to "control" us by forcing us all to ... get vaccinated?
Look, there may be some holes in the theory. The important thing is, you start with the belief that the government is evil, and work backward from there.
The agency warns consumers that "Ivermectin tablets are approved at very specific doses for some parasitic worms, and there are topical (on the skin) formulations for head lice and skin conditions like rosacea." It adds that "Ivermectin is not an anti-viral (a drug for treating viruses)" and cautions folks against consuming veterinary pharmaceuticals, since "animal drugs are often highly concentrated because they are used for large animals like horses and cows, which can weigh a lot more than we do—a ton or more. Such high doses can be highly toxic in humans."
But who are you going to trust: Tucker Carlson, or that Fauci dude? Joseph Flynn claims to be cured, so QED this shit is totally safe and effective.
Competition is stiff in the Flynn family for dumbest sibling, but Joseph has been giving it his all, of late. Two weeks ago, he came out swinging, misinterpreting a joke by Intercept reporter Jonathan Schwarz as a legitimate confession of election interference.
I'm still proud of all the work that myself and all my MSM friends did destroying Trump ballots, and also amazed th… https://t.co/TntWXWFKZ1— Jon Schwarz (@Jon Schwarz)1626395447.0
"I'm still proud of all the work that myself and all my MSM friends did destroying Trump ballots, and also amazed that only a few sharp-eyed intrepid investigators such as Natalie have figured it out," Schwarz tweeted.
"Left wing nut job writer from the Intercept admits publicly to destroying Trump ballots in collusion with other journalists and the USPS," Flynn responded in a since-deleted post flagged by RawStory.
"I should have known better than to believe I could outwit the super-genius intelligence analysts of the Flynn family," Schwarz responded.
Which is probably sarcasm. But we hesitate to weigh in without a member of the Flynn Dream Team to translate lyin' librul media talk for us. Don't forget to drink your Ivermectin, kids!*
*DO NOT TAKE HORSE DRUGS? OMG, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 2021 IS CANCELED.
ALSO OPEN THREAD. AGAIN, NO HORSE DRUGS. NO!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.