Mike Lindell Breaks Up With AZ Frauditors, Custody Of Shared Brain Cell TBD

Mike Lindell Breaks Up With AZ Frauditors, Custody Of Shared Brain Cell TBD
Mike Lindell: Carnival Barker, Or Barking Mad?

This is a post about Mike Lindell, who we regret to inform you is still batshit crazy. But first, a little update on a related story from yesterday about the Arizona fraudit.

When last we left the intrepid Cyber Ninjas, they were getting humiliatingly spanked by a bunch of real data dudes who call themselves "The Audit Guys." Turns out the Ninjas' numbers were basically pulled out of thin air, and the 261 votes they "found" for Biden were probably just a cover for the fact that their own count was laughably off.

How off was it?

Well, AZ Central revised its story after we published, and now they're reporting that the Ninjas' hand count was off by 312,000 votes. That's a 15 percent error rate, as confirmed by the machine recount ordered up by the Arizona Senate when those GOP dipshits still believed that the Cyber Ninjas were going to find proof of Democrats' dastardly deeds. And furthermore, they double counted almost 23,000 ballots. Truly, it's a spectacular (if inevitable) conclusion to this shitshow dumpster fire, which took six months and cost upwards of $10 million.

Cyber Ninjas CEO Doug Logan, holder of a fourth degree black belt in tautology, pointed to the report's conclusion bolstering the original count as proof of its legitimacy.

"Our accuracy to the official results actually proves that our hand-counting method is extremely accurate and blows those numbers away," he scoffed to AZ Central. "I have no doubt that's part of the reason why these 'experts' are having a hard time believing they were legitimate."

This logic is fooling no one, and that includes Mike Lindell. That's right, the Pillow Pumper is OFF the fraudit train.

"These fraudits have to stop!" he shouted during his weekly therapy session with moldering podcaster Steve Bannon. "They have to, you know, all these states are getting, there are so many states getting audits done, but we the people, and everybody out there knows you have to audit the machines!"

Don't worry, kids, Uncle Mikey's still crazy as ever. But now that the Ninjas failed to deliver the goods, he's decided that their data can't be trusted. How does he know?


Kinda like in Arizona, where they did a whole forensic audit, but they wouldn't let 'em have the routers, and they deleted stuff. They found all this stuff that was deleted. Well, when you do an audit, and you find parts that are missing, ummm, that's criminal, Steve. That's criminal! We gotta quit having 'em do fraudits. Fraudulent audits! This is part of the coverup. Then the media goes "Yup, look at that, Arizona, Biden won." No he didn't win! Donald Trump won Arizona by a quarter million votes. That's fact. Now you gotta have the Attorney General involved there, because there was criminal things there, for deletions and suppressions of evidence.

How could the actual paper ballots be wrong? Well it's all there on Mike Lindell's website.

Graphic claiming Trump won Arizona by 269,979 votes, rather than losing by 10,457. Screenshot via FrankSpeech.com

Not convinced by those bang up graphics? Well, check this shit out.

Purported traffic between random servers and Arizona election servers. Screenshot via FrankSpeech.com

Read it and weep, libs!

Or, you know, you could try to figure out what the hell those numbers are supposed to mean. Which is exactly what Oklahoma election officials did when Mike Lindell accused them of allowing cyber hackers to skim five percent off Trump's vote tally in each and every county in the state.

Turns out not so much.

"I am pleased to report to you that following Cyber Command's independent investigation and our own internal review, the allegations posted on the website are entirely without merit," Oklahoma Election Board Secretary Paul Ziriax wrote in a letter addressed to Oklahoma legislators.

But how can Mr. Ziriax be so sure? Well ...

• None of the IP addresses that were purported to be "targeted" by hackers belong to the State Election Board, nor any county election board, nor any Oklahoma election system.

• Many dates and times of alleged "cyber intrusions" are after the final election results were already certified by county election boards in Oklahoma.

• The latitude and longitude data do not appear to have any actual relationship to the physical locations of the IP addresses that were supposedly targeted.

Oh, is that all? Well, props to the Oklahoma guy for just laying it all out there, unlike the Idaho election asshole, who took time out of debunking Lindell's allegations about his state to say that he's totally sure that elections in the swing states were #Rigged.

Ziriax, show 'em how an upright public servant handles a freakshow like Lindell.

Unfortunately, several Oklahomans have seen or read misinformation like that provided at the "Cyber Symposium" and on "The Big Lie" website and have demanded a so-called "forensic audit" of Oklahoma's 2020 General Election – something that is neither justified by the evidence nor authorized under the laws enacted by the Legislature. Feel free to share this letter with any constituents who may contact you regarding these allegations so they can know the facts.

Nicely done, sir. Not that it will put the matter to rest, since Trump and his minions have managed to convince a third of the country that the election was stolen. And it certainly won't stop Mike Lindell from trying to stick his dick in that chicken router for all eternity. But it's a start.

[AZ Central / Ziriax Letter / KFOR]

Follow Liz Dye on Twitter!

Click the widget to keep your Wonkette ad-free and feisty. And if you're ordering from Amazon, use this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc