MyPillow Guy Pretty Mad Election Got Stoled In, Um, Wyoming

Know who's a traitor? That would be you, according to the MyPillow guy, because you probably do not even believe the 2020 election was stolen in Wyoming.

Now wait just one minute, you are saying. Didn't Donald Trump win Wyoming by an enormous margin? Perhaps it was the biggest margin of any state? Yes, those things are true — it was 69.9 percent to 26.6 percent — and also you are a traitor.

Now wait just one minute, you are saying. Is the MyPillow guy off his meds or something? Has he been bibbity bobbity boo-ed by a woke fairy godmother and now he is several pillowcases short of a full bedding set in favor of Joe Biden? No, none of those things are true (that we know of), and you are still a traitor.

Mike Lindell explained his sentient brain thoughts to Wyoming newspaper Cowboy State Daily upon the occasion of a Donald Trump rally in Casper. He told them he's spent $30 million on finding the fraud, and because of that, he knows more than everybody else. And the fraud was everywhere, even the places where Trump won by a billion. Even Wyoming.

“It was an algorithm that went nationwide, from Hawaii to Alaska to California to New York island,” he said.

The algorithm, it just went there, to the whole nation, including New York island. Because that's how computers are.

“Any politician says that — 100% traitor,” he said. “Wyoming had 20-some thousand votes stole in the president election. That’s almost 10% of your home (total cast) votes in Wyoming. Everything was taken.

Why, it's probably fraudulent to say anyone in Wyoming or America voted for Joe Biden at all! Do you think anybody voted for Joe Biden in Wyoming? SHUT THE FUCK UP TRAITOR.

“When you do it with computers you have to smooth out all 50 states,” he added.

When you do it with computers you have to smooth out all 50 states, he said.

The MyPillow Guy says the most votes for Trump were stolen in California — it is a very big state! He probably found that out on computers — and that the Georgia GOP primary was stolen. Have you been wondering why Georgia Republicans didn't jizz all over themselves to vote for Trump-endorsed David Perdue instead of Brian Kemp? Have you been wondering why loser dork Jody Hice didn't beat Brad Raffensperger for the GOP secretary of state nomination?


“Kemp, (Attorney General) Chris Carr, Brad Raffensperger- the triple crown of crime,” Lindell said. “It was all done through the machines, we have all the evidence. We sat outside (watching) for guys, we watched it all.”

They watched the machines from outside, they watched it all. They were in the parking lot, wrapped in MyPillow pillowslips in the back of a pickup truck. They saw the fraud.

(Hey, know who else is baselessly claiming Georgia went so poorly for Trump because of voter fraud? Yes, even though Kemp beat the shit out of Perdue by over 50 points.)

All of this information and the solutions to the fraud are available on Lindell's hugely successful "FrankSpeech" social media website, which is definitely a real website that works, and you can't find it anywhere else because here's why:

“You’re not going to find it on Fox rotten news, they don’t talk about the election,” he said, “They don’t talk about it at Newsmax.”


Lindell says the only way you have safe elections is if you hand-count the ballots. He did not say this next thing, but Wonkette is just surmising that it's a lot easier to just throw the ones that don't say "TRUMP IS MY REAL JESUS!" in glue and glitter on construction paper right in the wastebasket when you hand-count the ballots.

When asked if Trump would be the only candidate Lindell would support in the 2024 presidential elections, he responded, “that’s the dumbest question you’ve asked me” and stepped away to take a photo with a fan, ending the interview.

In summary and in conclusion, Mike Lindell's brain is doing no better and no worse than it was last time we visited him, when he was announcing that he was going to file a class action lawsuit against "all machines."



[Cowboy State Daily]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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