You know the story by now. Mike Pence went to visit the Mayo Clinic, where all people are required to wear face masks, but Mike Pence did not wear mask, either because he's got the invisible latex covering of the Lord protecting his mouth, or because Mother didn't say "Simon Says." Then Mother Pence went on TV and lied right outta her face mouth about how Bubbles (his nickname is "Bubbles") just didn't know about the mask rule, as if there is no Secret Service or staff planning vice presidential visits. Know what Christ doesn't like, KAREN? Liars.

Also Karens, probably.

And now everybody is being mean to Mike Pence and saying he has no regard for his fellow man and that he is a pathetic loser and that they don't know why he's so reluctant to wear a mask, since he's probably worn that kind of leather mask with the zipper in front before, maybe he could just wear that one.

OH YEAH, we almost forgot the best part. Mike Pence said he did not want to wear mask because he wanted to be able to look people in the eyes. Mister Vice President, again, we are not talking about some kind of S&M mask that is prohibited by Mother, it's not that kind of mask!

Point is, the vice president has been humiliated and his safeword is "I AM GOING TO PUNISH A REPORTER WHO TWEETED HURTFUL NEWS INFORMATION ABOUT MY FAILURE TO WEAR A MASK!" Or something.

Vice President Pence's office has threatened to retaliate against a reporter who revealed that Pence's office had told journalists they would need masks for Pence's visit to the Mayo Clinic — a requirement Pence himself did not follow.

Petty petty petty petty petty petty petty. PETTY PETTY PETTY petty petty petty petty.

Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ does not like you when you're petty, Michael Bubbles Pence. (Or any other time, probably.)

Steve Herman from Voice of America did tweet out that the VP's office told them, the journalists, that they would need masks because Mayo required them, which means the VP's office therefore was told well ahead of time:

And this reporter from the Wall Street Journal said yeah no shit Sherlock, everybody knew:

Is that reporter also in trouble? Not so far, according to the Washington Post! Maybe they're not in the mood to punish a reporter who works for Trump's real boss Rupert Murdoch as much as they want to punish a guy from Voice of America, which Trump hates and thinks is a Deep State Chinese plot to make him look like an idiot.

Of course, the Mayo Clinic also said Pence's office full well knew about the mask rule, before deleting its tweet about that.

But Pence is MAD because the planning memo to the journalists from the veep's office that said "wear a damn mask!" was supposed to be off the record! It said "off the record" right there on the memo! And if you say "off the record" nobody is allowed to point out if you did a lie!

And Mike and Karen Pence are supposed to be able to lie for Jesus without heathen reporters coming up behind them and saying, "Well, actually!" Says so right there in the Bible, next to the part about how all husbands should honor their wives by calling them "Mother."

Except Steve Herman RTed this guy from Business Insider, who said fuck off, stuff like this is not off the record:

And THAT GUY was RTing New York mag's Olivia Nuzzi, who said planning memos like this definitely are not "off the record" if you go on TV and LIE ABOUT THEM, MIKE AND KAREN PENCE.

Also, people are noting that any "off the record" nature of memos like these, which might be in place for security/planning purposes for vice presidential travel, would seem to expire once the trip is over, yes? One would think?

Herman addressed that aspect of it in a statement to the Washington Post:

"My tweet speaks for itself," Herman said in a statement. "We always have and will strictly adhere to keeping off the record any White House communications to reporters for planning purposes involving logistics that have security implications prior to events. . . . All White House pool reporters, including myself and my VOA colleagues, take this very seriously."

According to the Post, the White House Correspondents' Association has already told Herman he's not allowed to ride on the Air Force Two airplane anymore, but Pence's office says fake news, they have not even decided how to punish Herman yet, and that maybe if he says he's really sorry ...

It does not sound like Steve Herman is going to say he's sorry.

In summary and in conclusion, Mike and Karen Pence are whiny brat children who need to fuck off, that's what we think.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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