Mike Pence Is A Moonie Now, Practically

Mike Pence Is A Moonie Now, Practically

Hey! Remember the Moonies? Probably, since they're still around and they still own the Washington Times (but not Entenmann's, which was apparently a rumor back in the 80s). The Rev. Sun Myung Moon may be dead, but the church is still going strong under the leadership of his wife, Hak Ja Han Moon, and his daughter, In Jin Moon.

This week, the Unification Church held their 5th annual Rally of Hope — starring none other than former Vice President Mike Pence. This seems like a weird choice for our very holiest vice president, given that the Moons think they are gods (and their followers believe them), which one would think would go against his Christian beliefs.

In the speech, Pence praised Hak Ja Han Moon and the Washington Times, which he described as a model of "fair and accurate reporting."

Of course, given that he's persona non-grata in the Trump cult now, he may just be lonely and looking for a new place to belong. After all, the church pretty much invented the term love bombing.

Unification Church members are smiling all of the time, even at four in the morning. The man who is full of love must live that way. When you go out witnessing you can caress the wall and say that it can expect you to witness well and be smiling when you return. What face could better represent love than a smiling face? This is why we talk about love bomb; Moonies have that kind of happy problem. — Rev. Sun Myung Moon

No word yet on if he's leaving Mother to go get mass married in a Unification Church ceremony, but anything can happen.

Anyway! This is now your open thread, so talk amongst yourselves!

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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