Mike Pence knows all about accidental lies. Like, sometimes, his wife "Mother" goes on TV and opens her mouth, and without even being aware of it, she lies through her teeth and says the veep had NO IDEA he was supposed to be wearing a mask at the Mayo Clinic during a pandemic. See? Accidents happen.

Likewise, he now is pretty sure that when Michael Flynn, a man who worked in the military for one-thousand years and had a security clearance for much of that time, just did an accident when he lied through his teeth to Pence and said he did not tell the Russians to hold off on retaliating against the US for sanctions imposed by Barack Obama. Then, Obama was punishing them for their 2016 election attack, but Flynn promised the Russian ambassador that Daddy Trump would soon ride in on a horse and give sanctions relief to Russia. And then Flynn accidentally lied to Mike Pence about it.

Oops! It's just that thing where you mean to say one thing, but then you say the exact opposite! Could have happened to any of us.


Axios reports:

Vice President Mike Pence told reporters Thursday that following the release of new FBI documents, he is "more inclined to believe" that former national security adviser Michael Flynn unintentionally lied to him in 2017 about the nature of his conversation with former Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

You betcha! And the FBI tricked Michael Flynn, by asking him a question he knew the answer to but didn't want to tell. It's just that thing that happens!

Axios flashes us back to what Pence said about Flynn's accidental lies at the time:

PENCE: What I can tell you is that I knew that [Flynn] lied to me. And I know the president made the right decision with regard to him.

Uh huh.

Hey, remember how it took Donald Trump 18 days to ultimately fire Flynn, after then-Acting Attorney General Sally Yates marched into the White House waving her arms like "THERE IS A FUCKING RUSSIAN TURKISH LITERAL ACTUAL FOREIGN AGENT MASQUERADING AS THE NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR"? That happened.

As you may have heard from reading Wonkette, Michael Flynn has been trying to get out of his guilty plea for a while now, and his Fox News wonder-lawyer Sidney Powell has been doing everything she can to throw dogshit in the gears of the American justice system to prove Flynn WUZ FRAAAAAAAMED. Meanwhile, as part of Attorney General Bill Barr's "investigate the investigators" probe to prove Michael Flynn WUZ FRAAAAAAAAMED, this week FBI notes were released that showed that FBI agents did a real bad thing, no for real, it was bad, they definitely should be lock her upped, because they prepared for Flynn's FBI interview. Like they would do with any other common criminal like Michael Flynn.

Like, as in, they knew Flynn had been saying this lie for like a month, and it was a case they were investigating, and they actually wanted to see if he would also lie to their face, which, if you are part of the asshole of American society i.e. are on Trump's team, that means ENTRAPMENTSSSS!1!1!1!GHAZI!1!!READTHETRADCNRIPT!11!!

Reminder: Michael Flynn was the national security advisor. And the Russians had him, the chief national security official in all the land, dead to rights.

Pence also commented on how the FBI totally witch-hunted Michael Flynn, by doing its job:

"When you see the nature of abusive actions by Justice Department officials toward him, it's deeply troubling," Pence [said]. He said that his office would continue to look into "investigative abuse" towards Flynn by the Justice Department.

Go fuck yourself, Bubbles.

As Liz explained this week, the facts of this case have never been in dispute. All the FBI's evidence, including its surveillance of then-Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak, matches up with Flynn's guilty plea, where he said out loud with his mouth in court and on Twitter that yes, he lied to the FBI's face about his contacts with the Russian ambassador when they asked him. A good way for Flynn to have not committed a crime right then would have been NOT TO FUCKING LIE.

Axios reports that Donald Trump said yesterday in one of his yapping diarrhea mouth coronavirus pressers that Flynn was "essentially exonerated" (nope, he's a criminal) and that he's "strongly considering" pardoning Flynn, which was Flynn and Sidney Powell's goal this whole time. And maybe Trump will even re-hire him, he said! Because what's one more guy who "sold your country out," as Judge Emmet Sullivan said, in a White House that's just fuckin' full of 'em?

Of course, that's just Trump flapping his yap, so who gives a shit, not you, not us, not nobody. As Liz wrote yesterday, just pardon the motherfucker already, we are tired of hearing his sad pathetic good-for-literally-nothing name.

[Axios / Fox News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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