Donate

Mike Pompeo is sad and angry and frustrated and feeling poorly and looking stupid and making dumb lie faces, and it is all your fault. His heat-seeking missile still exists only to find Donald Trump's ass, but it seems to have lost its spirit. That's the thrust of a piece in CNN, and an interview Pompeo did with George Stephanopoulos on Sunday.

Oh yeah, and he's not answering your "hypotheticals" about things (acting) Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney admitted to, about the literal actual crimes Trump committed with Ukraine, for which he is now being impeached.

Stephanopoulos started this line of questioning by quoting GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski, who seems kinda sorta appalled by the news that's coming out, and who said last week, "You don't hold up foreign aid that we had previously appropriated for a political initiative. Period."

Thoughts, Mike Pompeo?


'I'll do everything I'm required to do by law': Pompeo on whether he will testify | ABC News www.youtube.com


POMPEO: George, I never saw that in the decision-making process that I was a part of, the decision surrounding whether there should be Department of Defense assistance, as well as some State Department assistance, provided to push back against Russia. The conversation was always around, what were the strategic implications? Would that money get to the right place, or would there be corruption in Ukraine, and the money wouldn't flow to the mission that it was intended for? How do we protect that? Is it appropriate for us to provide defensive weapons systems? George, you will remember -- I don't know why Barack Obama held up that funding. Maybe he had a theory too. I don't know. He never provided it. This administration has done it not once, not twice, but now three times.

Mike Pompeo ain't seen nothin', honest! He was just trying to help Donald Trump fight "corruption," because you know how Trump is about "corruption." (He doesn't like it except for all the times it benefits him, in which case if it's what you say, he loves it, especially later in the summer.)

Stephanopoulos wasn't having it:

STEPHANOPOULOS: But President Trump ordered Mick Mulvaney to -- to suspend the aid. And you saw Mr. Mulvaney right there say that one of the reasons was indeed this idea that the Ukrainians had to pursue these political investigations.

POMPEO: I -- I will leave to the chief of staff to explain what it is he said and what he intended. I can speak clearly to what America's strategic objectives were in providing this defensive weapons -- weaponry to the people of Ukraine.

He did explain it. And then he tried to walk it back and everybody LOLed at him and then he went on "Fox News Sunday" to 'splain again and just ended up setting his dick afire and eating it.

Here is where Pompeo gets mad about the "hypotheticals" Stephanopoulos won't stop asking about, which are actually just crimes Mick Mulvaney admitted Trump committed.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So, do you agree, then, with Senator Murkowski that it would have been inappropriate to withhold the military aid unless this political investigation was pursued?

POMPEO: George, it -- I'm -- I'm telling you what I was involved with. I'm telling you what I saw transpiring and how President Trump was working to make the evaluation about whether it was appropriate to provide this assistance.

STEPHANOPOULOS:
But I -- that's what I'm -- what I'm asking is, would it be appropriate to condition that aid?

POMPEO:
Yes, George, I'm -- I'm not going to get into hypotheticals and secondary things based on someone -- what someone else has said. George, you would have never done it when you were the spokesman. I'm not going to do it here today.

STEPHANOPOULOS:
Well, except it's not a hypothetical. We saw the chief of staff, the acting chief of staff right there.

POMPEO:
It is. George, you just said, if it -- George, you just said, if this happened. That is, by definition, a hypothetical.

YOU SAID "IF," GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS! THAT MEANS HYPOTHETICAL!

STEPHANOPOULOS: The chief of staff said it did.

POMPEO:
[ONE MILLION MINUTES OF UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]

POMPEO:
George, it -- you asked me if this happened. It's a hypothetical. I have told you what I observed, what I saw, the process related to this very funding. What -- what we did and how we thought about that was aimed at the strategic interests of the United States of America and the right and appropriate way to ensure that there wasn't corruption in Ukraine that would divert these resources to an inappropriate place.

Right, sure, OK, what the fuck ever. Mike Pompeo does not know what you are talking about, except he totally does and he wants to heat-seeking missile Trump's ass really hard right now but he can't figure out how, and OH BOTHER. Is this a bad time to remind everyone that Pompeo was actually on the July 25 crime extortion call to Ukraine, where Trump needed Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy to do him a "favor though" and investigate his political opponents, which means Pompeo's verifiably full of horseshit right now?

And did we mention Mike Pompeo is sad and ennui and constipation and regret these days?

CNN reports that Pompeo "feels frustrated and victimized" (VICTIMIZED!) by all these State Department people telling Congress he didn't do fuckall to protect his people from Trump's crimes, and that moreover he didn't do fuckall to push back against the Kremlin-style smear campaign Rudy Giuliani ran against former ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch. Some of those officials are even resigning in protest!

Mounting criticism about his handling of the matter has left the Secretary of State feeling victimized, according to those familiar with his thinking.

"He has been very disappointed," explained one of the sources who spoke with Pompeo. "He feels that with these departures, the actual good work on Ukraine policy has come to a halt."

And by "actual good work," we guess he means the crimes. Because as far as we can tell there's not any policy being pursued by the Trump administration with Ukraine. It's pretty much 24/7 Crime Time, with Trump demanding Ukraine make up bullshit investigations into his 2020 political opponents and the conspiracy theories in his sad brain about how actually Russia didn't ratfuck the election to help Trump, Ukraine ratfucked it to help Hillary Clinton, because that is a real thing the president thinks in his brain.

(It's worth remembering right here that the investigation into Rudy Giuliani at the Southern District of New York has a counterintelligence aspect to it, which probably has something to do with how Giuliani's smears of Yovanovitch and the Bidens, which came from weird ass corrupt Kremlin-aligned Ukrainians AKA Giuliani's pals, are themselves a foreign disinformation campaign intended to push Trump in a more Putin-y direction. AS USUAL.)

As for the rest of the Stephanopoulos interview, on top of Pompeo's victimization and his sadnesses and what we imagine are angrier-than-usual early morning toilet grunts, it's possible that Pompeo is just an idiot who's not very observant. He spent a lot of time saying he just didn't notice all the crimes Trump was committing with Ukraine, even though he was literally in the backseat of the getaway car. He also told Stephanopoulos that when he and Mike Pence traveled to Turkey to give Turkey everything it wants in Syria in exchange for nothing last week, that it "sure didn't feel that way" and was a "hard-fought negotiation" (that gave Turkey everything it wants in exchange for nothing).

Pompeo is very mad Congress is doing its impeachment investigation behind closed doors, which means he can't hear all the mean things literally every State Department witness is saying about how he is a heat-seeking missile for President Crime Boss's ass. As for the things we are hearing about their testimonies? Pompeo says that is just "leaked reporting from Democrats," so obviously it does not count, even though, as Stephanopoulos noted, a lot of the witnesses are releasing their opening statements all by themselves.

Pompeo is furious at the suggestion that it is bad for Rudy Giuliani, a private citizen whose brain does not work like a brain should, to be conducting our foreign policy with Ukraine in order to extract crime promises for the benefit of Donald Trump, and the reason he is furious is SIDNEY BLUMENTHAL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT SIDNEY BLUMENTHAL?

POMPEO: George, private citizens often are part of executing American foreign policy. You know that. You -- you lived that. Let's...

STEPHANOPOULOS: Absolutely.

POMPEO:
You want to talk about Sidney Blumenthal for a while, George? Let's go. I can go -- I can go all day.

HE CAN GO ALL DAY!

If you need a reminder why this is so funny, please revisit Wonkette's post about the 11-hour Hillary Clinton Benghazi hearings, where then-GOP Congressman Mike Pompeo lost his SHIT for DAYS because he just didn't understand why Hillary Clinton got all these cool emails from Sidney Blumenthal all the time, when he, a lowly congressman from Kansas, only got emails from cows.

The point here is that Mike Pompeo's response to questions about Giuliani doing shadow crime foreign policy for Trump is to scream BNE3GHEAZI!!!1!!

In summary and in conclusion, everything is great at the State Department, Mike Pompeo did not come on this question-and-answer show to answer questions, and did he mention everything is great? PFFFFFFT to people who say it is not great!

Decipher these English words about how great it is at Mike Pompeo's Department of State:

POMPEO: George, no Secretary of State has defended its team, its team members, has done things that served them well, that took care of their families, that made sure that they were getting promotions -- we have -- by the end of this year, more foreign servicers on -- foreign service officers on duty than at any time -- any time, George, a couple hundred years of the State Department -- at any time in the State Department's history. We've done great things for these officers. I see these stories about morale being low, I see things precisely the opposite. I see motivated officers. I've watched them perform in Syria this week, I've watched them perform in difficult situations during my year and a half as Secretary of State. I'm incredibly proud of the work they've done and I will always defend them when it's appropriate.

"When it's appropriate." Like, unless Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani are doing smear campaigns against a career diplomat serving as the ambassador to Ukraine because they and their pro-Russia Ukrainian co-conspirators think she'll be an obstacle to all the crimes they want to do. In that case, he won't defend them.

Oh yeah one more thing! Remember how Bill Burns, who is perhaps the most respected American diplomat alive, wrote that scathing op-ed about how Mike Pompeo's State Department's role in Trump's Ukraine crime scandal has inflicted more damage on State than it's suffered since the days of Joe McCarthy, and said the "ghost of Roy Cohn is smiling somewhere" about what Trump and Pompeo have done?

Respond, Mike Pompeo!

POMPEO: That's crazy. I think Bill Burns must be auditioning to be Elizabeth Warren's Secretary of State.

Yep you betcha that's it, LOL go fuck yourself, you sad loser dork.

Of course, it would be nice to have a real secretary of State again.

[CNN / Transcript]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette relies on YOU to keep us going. We have no ads, we have no capitalist investors, we're just us and you. KEEP US GOING! Click the thing! Pick an amount! Hit 'Paypal' or the other one! We love you! Go!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc