Milo Quits Breitbart To Spend More Time Giggling About Pedo Sex
We have sad news that actually isn't sad, but rather totally funny. Milo Yiannopoulos has quitted his job at the Dead Breitbart Racist Shithole, just because he got in big trouble mister for LOLing about pedophilia. Read his resignation letter and weep!
Very nice letter, Milo!
Human dumpster fire Julian Assange, who is holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London hiding from sexual assault charges in Sweden, sent thoughts 'n' prayers for Milo on his Twitter machine Monday night, because they are both gross human beings:
When somebody on Twitter lovingly corrected Assange and pointed out that Milo was disinvited by CPAC, which is not "liberals," and Milo's book was canceled by Simon & Schuster, which is also not "liberals," Assange replied that the greater point is that "liberals" are cheering this all on, because "liberals" are bad, we guess. Is it also the liberals' fault Milo had to throw himself under the bus and pull himself off the Breitbart teat?
Of course, Milo is really not being "censored," as his free speech rights are fully intact. The book publisher simply made a business decision that it didn't want its name attached to the general aura around Milo, which now includes quotes about how having sex with kids is OK under certain circumstances. CPAC also did not want to be associated with that aura! CPAC, Simon & Schuster, and Dead Breitbart all seemed to be OK with Milo's racism and transphobia and misogyny and all that other stuff, of course.
In advance of Milo's glorious job-quitting, Breitbart editor-in-chief Alex Marlow explained in an interview that it's ALSO the liberals' fault for "normalizing behavior similar to what Milo describes." He continued:
SQUIRREL! LENA DUNHAM! ROMAN POLANSKI!
Just kidding, that is not a quote from the Breitbart editor-in-chief.
It is probably the liberals' fault that those ladies in Sweden accused Julian Assange of rape and sexual assault too. Fuckin' liberals.
Anyway, unemployed Milo should pull himself up by his bootstraps and get a damn job, is what we think. He could be a hooker maybe, because hasn't he sort of done that before? Haha, we literally don't care where he gets a job, let's stop talking about him.
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Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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