How Will Bill Gates Track Missouri Residents Without Vaccine Microchips?

Conspiracy theories
How Will Bill Gates Track Missouri Residents Without Vaccine Microchips?
File:Xerox ColorQube 8570 - print head - controller - Microchip ...

A bunch of deeply confused Missouri Republicans have proposed a bill targeting COVID vaccines that would make it incredibly difficult for the state to react effectively to another pandemic. We can assume this is probably fine with them, seeing as how they probably don't even believe pandemics exist at this point.

Specifically, HB 700 would mean that the government cannot issue an ordinance requiring a vaccine to do anything or go anywhere without a MRNA vaccine or require them to take anything designed to alter deoxyribonucleic acid or the human genome or have a microchip implanted into their skin. Only two of those things are real.

No public body, political subdivision, public school district, state department or agency, judge or judicial officer, public official, peace officer, or person appointed by the Governor acting in an official capacity shall require any person to:

(1) Receive a COVID-19 vaccination;

(2) Receive a dose of messenger ribonucleic acid;

(3) Receive any treatment or procedure intended or designed to edit or alter human deoxyribonucleic acid or the human genome; or

(4) Have placed under the person's skin any mechanical or electronic device;

Or impose any fine, tax, or criminal or civil penalty based upon a person's decision to receive any of the above.

The bill is clearly referring to the conspiracies that MRNA vaccines "alter human DNA" and contain a microchip that pings Bill Gates every time they go to the bathroom or whatever it is that they're claiming they do. However, it is physically impossible for the MRNA vaccine to alter anyone's DNA and the microchip thing is insane. Least of all because the kind of people who are afraid of microchips in vaccines are always the absolute last people anyone would want to be tasked with having to track all day. Can you imagine how incredibly boring that would be?

The bill would also bar employers from firing people who refuse to get the vaccine if they put it in writing that they are opposed to getting the vaccine. This would apply to anyone, regardless of where they work. They could work in a hospital, they could handle your food, they could work at your grandma's nursing home, they could work anywhere and you wouldn't know or be able to protect yourself from them. Which would be make things especially difficult for immunocompromised people and children who have valid reasons for not being able to get vaccinated.

(1) The employee or student holds a sincerely held religious belief, which may include any deeply held nontheistic moral belief, that forbids the employee from receiving the medical treatment and reasonable accommodation would not pose an undue hardship; or

(2) The employee or student has received written recommendation from a physician advising the employee not to receive the required medical treatment.

This would make some amount of sense if getting vaccinated had anything to do with that individual person, but it doesn't. Employers and schools and other public places don't ban unvaccinated people because they want them to make better life choices, or because they want to shame them, they do it to protect other people. A sincerely held belief, religious or otherwise, has no effect whatsoever on one's ability to transmit a virus — which is the actual issue here. People don't get out of speeding tickets because they have a sincere religious belief that they cannot drive 55. Why? Because it's about other people's safety, not their own.

We don't know that the lawmakers who put forward these bills actually believe this crap, but they are at the very least coddling those who do — and that's not really a thing legislators should be doing.

What I would truly love, really, would be some kind of requirement that politicians provide actual evidence for things they put bills out about. That should be a law. If you want to claim that there are microchips in vaccines, show us all the microchip. Or show us exactly how an MRNA vaccine can alter your DNA. If you want to claim that the abortion pill can be reversed? Prove it. If you want to make some other ridiculous and easily disprovable claim? Prove it.

It would certainly cut down on bills like this one.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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