Mitch McConnell Wants Pelosi To Lay Off Trump, Start Passing Legislation He Can Kill

Mitch McConnell Wants Pelosi To Lay Off Trump, Start Passing Legislation He Can Kill

Senate Republicans are focused right now on keeping Donald Trump's sorry ass in office. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell declared yesterday that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is a weak-willed puppet of the pitchfork-bearing left-wing mob that wants Trump impeached. McConnell's very worried that House Democrats are denying the fake president due process under the law, which is unfair, and he should know because his tenure is a model of unfairness.

McConnell describes impeachment as a Democratic "obsession" that has consumed them since Trump's inauguration. It's all they've wanted to do, even when they were in the minority and utterly powerless as Trump trampled over the law. Moscow Mitch lamented that Trump's presidency was dismissed as "illegitimate before it had even begun." It hurts because it's true.

McConnell repeats the common refrain that impeachment and removal "nullifies" an election. I wish this were true, but Barack Obama isn't recalled to service if Trump's kicked out of the White House. There is no do-over election where Hillary Clinton gets another shot at what's rightfully hers. Mike Pence is elevated to the presidency, which is only possible because he was elected vice president.

It also deeply concerns McConnell that Pelosi has denied Republicans equal subpoena power and won't let Trump's legal goofballs participate in hearings. Stacey Abrams recently explained why this complaint has no merit.

But doesn't Congress have more important things to do than hassle a lawless president? Americans send politicians to Washington to do the people's business, not pursue partisan vendettas and obstruct a duly elected chief executive. Pelosi's had control of the House for almost a year and not only is it dusty and dinner's never ready on time, but Republicans claim she hasn't passed any serious legislation. She's just watching soap operas all day and not even the good ones on CBS.

This is lie, but Republicans know that if they keep feeding their base lies, they'll grow big and strong. Pelosi's House has passed a significant amount of beneficial legislation that McConnell just tossed down a hole in the basement and let starve. The man has bragged about this on TV. McConnell wouldn't need to call himself the "Grim Reaper" if Democrats just schemed about impeaching Trump all day. He'd call himself the "Impeachment Stopper Person," which is more to the point.

McConnell specifically calls out Pelosi for blocking the USMCA, "a major trade deal that would create 176,000 new American jobs." I'm immediately skeptical when McConnell claims to care about jobs created anywhere but Kentucky. USMCA is Trump's proposed replacement for NAFTA. Pelosi voted for NAFTA during Bill Clinton's administration and feels "burned" by the experience. That's not unreasonable because NAFTA was mostly a disaster that screwed Democrats with organized labor and arguably hobbled Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign. Pelosi just wants the deal to suck less this time. As for hating on the troops, in reality, Senate Democrats filibustered Trump's attempt to screw over health and education programs to pay for his stupid WALL. McConnell isn't an honest person.

The Producers -- Let's assume you are a dishonest

Meanwhile, Pelosi spent this morning discussing her current House resolution to lower drug costs nationwide. The proposed bill will make Medicare's lower drug prices available to all Americans, prevent drug companies from charging Americans both their arms and legs for medication, and institute a new $2,000 out-of-pocket limit on prescription drug costs for Medicare beneficiaries. This all sounds great, so McConnell will probably shoot the bill in the head gangland style. But Pelosi isn't just wasting her time, she's preparing for when Democrats flip the Senate. which is not entirely what Amy Klobuchar would call "a pipe dream."

Don't worry, Moscow Mitch, Nancy Pelosi can impeach the motherfuckerand pass legislation for the American people -- backwards and in high heels if necessary.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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