Mitch McConnell Will Make Senate Great Again By ... Bringing Back Kelly Loeffler? That Can't Be Right.

Bring back Kelly Loeffler!

Said NO ONE EVER. And yet, an increasingly desperate Mitch McConnell is plotting to do just that. Or, hell, maybe that stuffed shirt David Perdue — our Mitch isn't real picky. He just wants a warm body who can mount a credible Senate campaign against incumbent Raphael Warnock in Georgia next year. And Donald Trump looks to be doing his darnedest to make sure that never happens.

We've LOL-ed many belly laughs at McConnell's predicament, stuck between 2022 and a maniac who'd endorse John Wayne Gacy if he flattered him just right. But let's stop for another delicious afternoon rubberneck — a quickie, if you will — since CNN is out with a new piece on the slow motion GOP disaster in Georgia, where Trump's insistence that Herschel Walker is the one to take on Warnock has effectively frozen the GOP race in place as the former football star makes up his mind whether or not to run.

There are of course one or two teensy problems with the bruited Walker candidacy. To wit, he does not now and has not in decades resided in Georgia. Also Walker's well-documented mental health struggles are guaranteed to be an issue in the campaign, along with allegations of spousal abuse, including that he once held a gun to his ex-wife's head and threatened to "blow your fucking brains out." And, as the AP recently reported, he appears to have played fast and loose with his business valuations to make himself seem more successful that he was.

But perhaps most offensive of all, Walker refuses to shit or get off the pot. Trump's been promising for months that this guy will declare and put together a real campaign, and he still won't formalize his candidacy or nope out. Which means that the "real" candidates, i.e. the ones who got their shit together to declare already, can't formulate a campaign strategy and start lining up local endorsements, because no one wants to get crosswise with Trump by backing the wrong guy.

CNN interviewed multiple insiders, including Sen. Lindsey Graham and Georgia Rep. Buddy Carter, who expressed confidence that Walker would eventually get in. But Georgia GOP operative Eric Tanenblatt was less sanguine about Walker's promise to Hannity that he'd make an announcement "on my timetable."

"If Herschel Walker is committed to the Republican Party, he needs to get out and announce he's running, or he needs to announce he's not, and let the other candidates be given a chance to get support from others that may be holding back, waiting on him," Tanenblatt groused.

CNN also notes that Walker met with three local Republican heavyweights, Nick Ayers, Austin Chambers and Paul Bennecke, and none of them opted to sign on with his campaign. Which is hardly a ringing endorsement for the prodigal son coming home (maybe!) to make good.

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell is not waiting for God to open the door. He's jumping out the window ... with Kelly Loeffler, the woman whose fake populist race-baiting managed to so completely alienate her constituents that she was forced to sell her own basketball team for being such a nasty, racist, garbage fire.

CNN says that McConnell met with Loeffler and her fellow 2021 loser David Perdue to see about mounting a 2022 comeback tour. Perdue, who only lost to Jon Ossoff by one percent, had the good sense to put the kibosh on the whole thing. But Loeffler, who lost to Warnock by two, is reportedly going to get in if and when Walker decides to stay in Texas. To be fair to McConnell, he also met with Latham Saddler, a former Trump national security official and Navy Seal who managed to nut up and declare already, banking $1.4 million in donations. Which is only $9.1 million less than Warnock has socked away!

In summary and in conclusion, THANK YOU, MR. TRUMP. Not sure about that prediction that we'll win so much we'll eventually get tired of winning. But we're certainly game to find out!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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