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Mitt Romney Ad Magically Turns McCain Advisor's Words Into Obama's

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The quantum of total emptiness sashaying about in a flesh suit and calling itself "Mitt Romney" just cannot catch a break, in the polls! Mitt wants this presidency thing so very badly, you can practically taste the flopsweat. (Look for low notes of malted milk and Brylcreem in this year's vintage.) Here is Mittens' latest campaign ad, where he plays the role of a humanoid who "believes in America," unlike confirmed socialist Muslin Barack Obama, who in the beginning of the video just cold admits that "if we keep talking about the economy, we lose!" Boy, that dude would have to be EMPTY IN THE HEAD to say that! Just straight up flashing a big ROOM AVAILABLE sign across the noggin', right?


Or maybe instead Mitt's ad deceptively shows Obama quoting one of John McCain's doomed flunkies circa 2008, who at the time wisely advised WALNUTS! to ix-nay on the "fundamentals are strong" nonsense, seeing as how the economy was then transitioning into hospice care. Now, you could turn your computer upside down to read the answer, or you could just use the good sense Mama gave you and assume that Mitt Romney fucked up, again, as always. What do you know, right again! This guy needs more Reagan in his life.

[ThinkProgress; TPM]

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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