Mitt Romney Coward Again

Oh, we were so nice to Mitt Romney for a minute there, when he decided to be the only Senate Republican with half a brain and a quarter of a conscience, and voted to convict Donald Trump on the abuse of power article of impeachment. Romney recognized that the House managers had proven their case up one side and down the other, that Trump had extorted a foreign country to announce fake investigations into the Bidens in order to help him steal the 2020 election, and that Trump had gone so far as to withhold aid from that country until he got that announcement.

He appeared to understand that all the shit about "Biden" and "Burisma" coming out of corrupt motherfuckers in Ukraine was false, and also Russian propaganda. Good job, Mittens! Strap the dog to the roof and take a road trip, YOU'VE EARNED IT!

This week, Mittens reacted to World's Stupidest Senate Republican Ron Johnson wanting to send stupid Russian propaganda-infused subpoenas in his Homeland Security Committee investigation into fake Biden Ukraine scandals, by saying that yes, it does seem that something like that might be viewed as li'l bit nakedly political and problematic, considering what Trump just did. He even said, "There's no question that the appearance of looking into Burisima and Hunter Biden appears political. I think people are tired of these kind of political investigations."

Correct as usual sometimes, Mitt Romney!

Anyway he's going to vote in favor of the subpoenas Ron Johnson wants, because coward.

Republican Sen. Mitt Romney of Utah plans to vote in favor of a subpoena as part of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee's investigation into Burisma, a key decision that could advance the GOP investigation into the Ukrainian energy firm tied to Joe Biden's son.

Fun fact: Republicans hold an eight to six majority on the Homeland Security Committee, which means that if Romney had decided to have principles this month, at least some of the Senate Republican Biden Ukraine bullshit, which is 100 percent working in concert with Russia (NO COLLUSION!) to help Trump get re-elected, could have been stopped.

(We do not mean they are literally working together or the Senate GOP had a conversation with Russia where they said "LET'S DO A COLLUSION!" so cool your fucking horses and cram a Russian nesting doll up your ass without lube, GOP. We just mean the modern GOP helps Russia and hurts America every day.)

Point is, this shit wouldn't have made it out of committee.

But now it will!

Thanks, Mittens! Protecting democracy one day out of the year ain't that bad, is it!

Leaves the other 364 days a year for being a great big fuckin' coward.

What happened, Mittens? Ronna give you a wedgie at the most recent Mormon Romney Family Magic Underpants Swap? Wouldn't put it past her.

And with that mental image esconced in your head, it's time for your OPEN THREAD!


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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