Mitt Romney Didn’t Ignore The Troops, He Said ‘Military’ Like Twice


When Mitt Romney (remember, the one running for president against Michelle Obama's husband) spoke at the Republican National Convention, he mentioned pretty much everything that's ever existed except America's men and women in uniform. The liberal media turned this into A Thing, and so Mitt Romney took to Fox News to answer the question on everyone's mind:

Baier: To hear several speakers in Charlotte - and I don't think this is a jump - they were essentially saying you don't care about the U.S. military because you didn't mention U.S. troops and the war in Afghanistan in your nomination acceptance speech. We understand you went to the American Legion the day before and you talked about the service and sacrifice of the military there. Do you regret opening up this line of attack, now a recurring attack, by leaving out that issue in the speech?

Wait...the question is whether Romney regrets opening up the line of attack? Is this what you learn in the Hillsdale College Journalism School? What was the show production meeting like before this interview?

PRODUCER: "Hey, Bret, ask Romney a question about the troop thing, but not actually about the troop thing."

BRET BAIER: "How about if I ask if he regrets letting Democrats attack him on it?"

PRODUCER: "Perfect! Can you add some more quaver to your voice, though? Really sell it."

So, how did Romney answer this softball?

Well, fucking terribly.

Romney: I only regret you repeating it day in and day out. (LAUGHS)

Baier: Well, I mean, what just came from Charlotte -

Romney: Because when you give a speech, you don't give a laundry list. You talk about the things that you think are important. And I described in my speech my commitment to a strong military unlike the President's decision to cut our military. And I didn't use the word troops, I used the word military. I think they refer to the same thing. And of course going to the American Legion...

HAR HAR HAR shut your goddamn smooth face, Baier.

It is a genius move for Romney to conflate the troops with the entire military, because of the new plan to turn the entire Army into the Universal Soldier program. THEY ARE LIVING WEAPONS. The troops themselves, however, are not really all that important until they are implanted with guns and wheels, so yeah, ignore them or whatever. Barack Obama pandered to mere humans, a thing we will never have to worry about in a Romney presidency. Ever.

[Boston Phoenix]

Donate with CC

One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc