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Mitt Romney Does Not Care for Barack Obama's Disgraceful Flip-Flopping

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Sad Mitt Romney is so jealous of all the thank-you notes and the hot piles of gay dollar bills that President Popular has gotten ever since he belatedly admitted that he thinks gay people should be able to get married. Sad Mitt Romney is not as tragically lame as he appears to be on this issue, okay? Sad Mitt Romney responds that while he is not a fan of gay marriage, he -- wait for it -- sometimes talks to his gay friends, many of whom own children: “I know many gay couples that are able to adopt children. That’s fine." This does not bother him, the gays living together and having kids like they are married as long as it is not called married. That is not trying to have it both ways! The only thing that really bothers him is that Barack Obama seems to be the kind of brazen asshole who just says, you know, whatever to win over certain groups. Mitt Romney does not do this, he then actually says.


Ahahahahahahaha:

But you don’t change your position to try to win states or certain subgroups of Americans. You have the positions you have, and you know, for a long time, I think since the beginning of my career, I have made it very clear that I thought that marriage should be a relationship between a man and a woman.

Mittens has once again managed to try to get the upper hand in this news story in the most hilariously ironic and embarrassing way ever. [National Journal]

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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