The #1 most important world news story right now is:whatever is happening in EgyptCharlie Sheenno jobs Mitt Romney visited David Letterman's talk show last night and recited his very own monologue, "Things You Don't Know About Mitt Romney"! Here is an example of one of these Things you don't know about him: "Do I smell as good as I look? No!" Did Mittens just admit to the entire world that he smells like taint? And what does this mean, for Democracy in Egypt?

When state-sponsored eugenics is reintroduced (yes, reintroduced) to the United States, Mitt Romney will breed with a florescent pink popped collar, creating a new species of Caucasian Automatons that will rule the world for 1,000 years. [TPM]