Mitt Romney: Nice to Meet Me!
Oh, Mitt Romney. With your uncomfortable stuttering and your terrible jokes and your inability to navigate interactions with hu-man units. We know younever meant to campaign for president (twice) but you are really, really bad at this.
Mr. Romney, who marked his 65th birthday on Monday, was in a jaunty mood during a stop on the Gulf Coast. He made clear that he was not certain just how self-assured he should be.
“You might be shaking the president’s hand,” Mr. Romney told a man in Mobile, where a rainstorm forced his supporters to seek shelter on the porch of a cafe. As he reconsidered how confident his remark sounded, he added: “Then again, you might not. But I hope you are.”
When your editrix was a sexxxy 18-year-old bleach blonde (47 years ago), she once stood in line for coffee behind a handsome salt-and-pepper gent who, after giving her a bit of the eye, turned to tell a little icebreaking joke. Motioning toward the muffins, he jovially remarked, "Those aren't chocolate chips. Those are rat turds."
That man went on to become Mitt Romney.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.