Mitt Romney Will Make His Buttocks Available For Kicking, If Needed

But.
If the nomination were thrust upon him? If, for example, no candidate has won a majority of delegates by the time of the Republican National Convention, and the party is in disarray (you know, more), and it is balls-to-the-wall brokered convention crisis time for the Gee Oh Pee, and won't someone pretty please step forward to save the party from the party for the good of the party?
Well, that's a different story, isn't it?
CHUCK TODD: If nominated, will you accept the nomination? If your name is placed in the nomination, and you was [sic] elected at this Cleveland convention, would you accept it?MITT ROMNEY: I can't imagine anything like that happening. And I don't think anyone in our party should say, "Oh no. Even if the people in the party want me to be the president, I would say no to it." No one's going to say that. But I can tell you this: I'm not a candidate. I'm not going to be a candidate.
So we are clear now. Mitt Romney is not a candidate and does not plan to be a candidate, unless the party serves the nomination to him on a silver platter, without the hassle of running in the primary and having to eat deep-fried Iowa corndogs or kiss New Hampshire babies or stand on a debate stage to be abused and humiliated by Donald Trump.
ROMNEY: And one of the people -- I can guarantee you this -- one of the people running for president, one of the four, is going to be the Republican Party nominee. Three of the four are people I would endorse. But I'm not running, and I'm not going to be running.
So that's a promise, then, right? That the nominee will be Donald Trump or Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz or John Kasich, but definitely not Mitt Romney? Right. Unless the party wants -- perhaps even demands -- someone else who is not one of those four people, in which case, why, Mister Someone Else could not possibly say no to such a request! Not even, just to pick a random example, Mitt Romney.