Mitt Romney's Ties to Satan, Hooters Caught on Video

As if losing the Pat Robertson endorsement wasn't enough of a blow to Mitt Romney's social conservative credo, CBS News captured Mitt Romney engaging in some Wiccan black magic voodoo-sins last night in Greenville, South Carolina: Gluttony! Lust! Not Knowing What a Life-Size Banana Looks Like And Calling It A Pepper Instead!

The small hamlet of Greenville -- well it might be a big city, but who gives a shit -- held something of a jamboree last night, so Romney snuck out through the window of his space wizard deity's house past bedtime to attend. While there, he ate ice cream -- just like the terrorists! Then he hugged and was kissed by three Hooters girls, who implored him to "Vote for Hooters chili," a concoction infamously laced with lesbian pubes. Mitt also hugged an apple and forced a sex slave banana to spin around so he could check out that ass. He called the banana a "pepper," which is something of a pejorative in the banana fields of the deep south.

Mitt Romney hates yellows.

Romney Lets Loose in South Carolina [CBS News]


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