Mitt's Mellow Meltdown
Yes, this is a ten-minute video of Mitt Romney arguing about Mormonism. The YouTube headline is "Mitt Romney Melts Down/Implodes Over Mormonism Questions #2," but they are apparently using a different definition of "Melts Down" and "Implodes" than we usually do. Because this seems to be a slightly testy but ultimately sincere argument about faith -- in other words, one of the most boring things imaginable.
Last Thursday, Mitt appeared on Des Moines conservative Jan Mickelson's show, like all the other GOP candidates before him. But instead of wanting to talk about how much we will torture everyone forever in a thousand Guantanamos, Jan just wanted to chat with Mitt about how the Mormons think Jesus is going to return to Missouri and everyone will get to be a God on their own paradise planet after Armageddon (our understanding of Mormonism comes from a Jack Chick pamphlet, yes).
He bugged Mitt so much that the shiny-haired Masshole continued debating him during the commercial break, and then kept going once they were off the air. Mickelson kept rolling tape, and then he posted the whole exchange on his show's website. Then Mitt's campaign sent it to a friend of theirs at TownHall.
So here's Mitt lettin' his hair down, talkin' about the Second Coming, and how much he hate abortion. And also, weirdly, making a separation of Church and State argument. And losing patience with a douchey radio host. In other words, it's the only time we have ever sympathized with Mitt.
Because it seems no stupider to us to think that Jesus will come back on his immortal horse of justice and rule from the rebuilt temple in Jerusalem than to think he'll pop by Columbia, MO and, brandishing a flaming He-Man sword, direct the end of the world from Stephens College.
Come on, people -- let's focus on how the man tortures dogs and mixes metaphors , not his belief in the psychotropic mushroom-informed ravings of a con artist frontiersman. For the good of America.
Mitt Unplugged [Politico]