Mo Brooks's Prostate Knows What It Did

Congressperson Mo Brooks (R-NOT DOUG JONES, WHO WON), the super conservative representative of the 5th District in Alabama, where I live, has announced that he has treatable prostate cancer. That is sad news for him, and we are sorry that this has happened. Yes, we are all sorry, because we are nice people. (Good lord, what a morning we are having!) We wish him a speedy recovery -- which he is most assuredly going to have, because prostate cancer is in fact very treatable -- and Mo Brooks has health insurance that will pay for those treatments and that is good for him and we are glad, because we think ALL people should have affordable healthcare. Not just access to healthcare mind you, we want them to straight up be able to get it. I mean, who cares if a treatment exists in the world that you may have access to, only if you can afford it at the same time that you may have, say, treatable prostate cancer? That just seems even meaner. And we are nice, so we are glad that our Rep. Mo Brooks can afford his healthcare.

We are also so nice that we are not going to put in the same paragraph what y'all might remember Mo Brooks said to Jake Tapper that one time in defense of the terrible healthcare bill that Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and some guy finally killed at the last minute before it killed us all. Remember what Mo Brooks said? About other people who get sick? Back in May before Mo Brooks knew that Mo Brooks was a sick person also?

It will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they’re healthy, they’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy,” explained Brooks. “And right now, those are the people who have done things the right way that are seeing their costs skyrocketing.

We would never imply that what comes around goes around, or that Mo Brooks has led a "bad" life and done something the "wrong" way that now means he has cancer, or that because he is not in perfect health he should have to pay a catastrophic sum of money for having the misfortune of getting cancer and causing healthy people's health insurance to skyrocket. Those are terrible, terrible things to say, and only someone with an aching hole in a soul full of meanness would say such a thing about another human being who has found out that they have prostate cancer. Especially since, according to the "yes you have cancer, everyone does, all the time, no matter what your symptoms are" WebMD site, 1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with treatable prostate cancer in their lifetime and 80 percent of all men at the age of 80 have it no matter what.

Suffice it to say there are many other things to discuss about the fact that prostate cancer is so treatable and about how there's a damn blood test to detect it (which you should do if you have a prostate!), and all the while women still have to get their boobs squashed for mammograms and we bet if guys got their balls squashed some women would get our own blood tests, too, but that is a different fight for another day. Today is about Mo Brooks's ballz and how we are glad that he can afford the healthcare to treat 'em, and also about how we hope that in the spirit of empathy and kindness and generally not wishing for people to die of treatable prostate cancer, maybe he will decide that other sick people deserve healthcare too.

In the meantime, good luck on your speedy recovery, Mo Brooks. We hope it is as fast as you, on the stairs, running away from a reporter who is asking about Roy Moore WHO LOST, BECAUSE DOUG JONES WON.


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