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Modest George Bush Claims He Was 'Unprepared' For War

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Everyone loves George W. Bush so much, and even more so when he gets all cute and modest about his epic record of WIN. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Bush invited hungry street urchin Charles Gibson into his secret Appalachian masturbatorium, Camp David, for a series ofinterviews with himself and his first lady, Laura. There is a 7-page transcript. Page 3 is where the cool kids are hanging out.


Before George W. Bush was elected, we learn, he had assumed that if there were going to be any potential terrorist attacks or wars anywhere during his term in office, someone would've told him about them in a memo before he chose to ran, right? I mean JESUS, anyone doing their day jobs around this place?

GIBSON: What were you most unprepared for?

BUSH: Well, I think I was unprepared for war. In other words, I didn't campaign and say, "Please vote for me, I'll be able to handle an attack." In other words, I didn't anticipate war. Presidents -- one of the things about the modern presidency is that the unexpected will happen.

So he is saying that if he knew, before he ran, that there would possibly be these "wars" (waged by us, btw) during his time, he wouldn't have voted for himself either. There are limits!

Also, after this staggering response from George in which he claims that he LOVES COMFORTING AMERICA during war and death and famine, Charlie makes a declarative statement that is somehow a question?:

BUSH: Oh, yes. As I said, some times are happy, some not happy. I don't want people to misconstrue. It's not -- I don't feel joyful when somebody loses their life, nor do I feel joyful from somebody loses a job. That concerns me. And the President ends up carrying a lot of people's grief in his soul during a presidency. One of the things about the presidency is you deal with a lot of tragedy -- whether it be hurricanes, or tornadoes, or fires, or death -- and you spend time being the Comforter-in-Chief. But the idea of being able to serve a nation you love is -- has been joyful. In other words, my spirits have never been down. I have been sad, but the spirits are up.

GIBSON: I have found you to be an excellent political analyst and commentator?

In what respect, Charlie?

Charles Gibson Interviews President Bush [ABC News]

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

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