Mommy, Why Are The Never-Trumpers Fighting Like Idiots?

There is a story floating out there on the internet that is crucial and important and you better listen up, because if you don't know it, then you'll look real dumb next time you're at a dinner party where all the attendees are dorks.

The Words Matter podcast is IN DISARRAY. "What is the Words Matter podcast?", you may ask. It's OK, we didn't know either! Apparently it is the never-Trumper Republican answer to Pod Save America, if we are using the word "answer" loosely, and apparently it was a thing, if we are using the word "thing" loosely. But then its creator Steve Schmidt threw a bunch of dooky at everybody and yelled cusses ON THE AIR and now it's not a thing, if we are using the word "thing" loosely.

Let us say right here that since the 2016 election, we've had a certain cautious affection for Never-Trumpers. We are glad that there are moderate and even conservative Republicans who have not buckled and lost their goddamned minds in the age of Trump, and we like giving people an opportunity to become less stupid right in front of our faces. We like the "country over party" mentality some of them seem to have. But we say "cautious," because we have noticed that some of them have this adorable tendency to believe that now that they're making common cause with Democrats, that we -- the people over here who voted for the American candidate in the 2016 election in the first fucking place and aren't watching our political party implode in a pile of shame, racism and Russian disinformation -- should be laying out a welcome mat and giving up our long-held principles just to make Max Fucking Boot or David "I'm homophobic trash but I think I'm pretty gentle about it" French feel like maybe they can feel safe voting for a Democrat. If your patriotism isn't enough to make you vote for whichever Democrat wins the nomination in 2020 in order to get rid of President Foreign Agent, then we ain't got nothin' for you.

So here's what happened, as briefly as we can possibly summarize it, because fuck these idiots. Steve Schmidt -- he who helped to thrust Sarah Palin in America's general direction like a dump he was super-proud of and thus decided to photograph -- has made a name for himself in Trump's America by going on MSNBC a lot and delivering some truly righteous rants against President Dipshit. Hell, if you weren't paying that much attention, you might think he was truly on our side now, and by "our," we mean America's side.

But then Schmidt went and boned a goat on that one when he decided to join up with Howard Schultz, because what America obviously needs at this crisis moment in its history is a spoiler campaign from an independent billionaire who think it's racist to call billionaires "billionaires," like can you believe how people sneer when they say "billionaire"? What the fuck was Steve Schmidt doing? Had he lost his damn mind? Eh, maybe, but that's assuming he had found his mind in the intervening years between Palin and now. But seriously, we're talking about a nascent maybe-campaign that has attracted the support of -- hold on, let us count up on our abacus -- ZERO SERIOUS PEOPLE.

A couple weeks back, Schmidt went on the Nicolle Wallace MSNBC show, so his former McCain/Palin partner in crime could call him an idiot to his face for doing the exact opposite of what he should do, if he truly thinks getting Donald Trump out of the White House is Priority Number One for the 2020 election. He came across as tired and whiny, and oh yeah, MSNBC has now put him on sabbatical while he chases his new dream of getting Donald Trump re-elected in the absolute stupidest way possible.

Schmidt: The Brokenness Of The Political System Resulted In The Election Of Trump | Deadline |

And that brings us to this past weekend, when the Words Matter podcast found itself in a precarious situation on recording day! The idea was that Schmidt's pod partners and fellow Trump haters Elise Jordan (you've seen her on MSNBC, also a never-Trumper type who used to work for Rand Fucking Paul) and Adam Levine (no, not the naked Super Bowl singer with the nipples and the tattoos) would interview Schmidt like he was a normal guest. Though Schmidt agreed to this with his mouth, he apparently did not agree to it in his heart, because that's when he started acting like a fucking dick:

Schmidt railed at having to defend himself on his podcast with a stream of curses a source present in the studio said consumed six minutes. Told that listeners were castigating him for joining an effort that could help re-elect President Trump and that he owed them answers, Schmidt finally settled down enough to take about 30 minutes to answer questions from Jordan, normally his co-host, and Levine, the executive producer.

But unfortunately the baby's mood did not stay peaceful for long! After spouting bullshit polling that says Schultz has 18 percent support when put up against prominent Democratic candidates, Schmidt got STUPID MAD again, because his co-host/interviewer Adam Levine dared to suggest that Howard Schultz's whining about high AOC-style marginal tax rates on the absurdly rich might be, you know, stupid and 100 percent self-interested:

"Will Derek Jeter or another athlete not hit another home run because they're going to get taxed at 70? What's the economic behavior that he thinks is anti-growth, other than his own pocket?"

"This is bullshit," Schmidt exclaims. "I'm not doing this."

"Steve, you've got to answer the questions," Levine says.

"I'm not," and with that Schmidt slams down his headset and abruptly ends the interview.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, OK.

Anyway, Steve Schmidt was mad because his podcast got "hijacked" and people were asking him mean questions and he threatened to sue to keep the interview from being aired, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah do you actually care about any more of the details of this story? If you do, check out the Daily Beast, but we guess you should know that Elise Jordan has decided to leave Words Matter over the whole kerfuffle, which is probably very disappointing for their listener, if their listener is in fact a huge Elise Jordan fan.


Actually we dunno if there were murders, we only skimmed the source material.

Regardless, this post is over and Steve Schmidt is officially kicked out of the club forever and now it is your OPEN THREAD.

[The Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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