And Now Fox News Is Talking About Biden And (((Globalists))) Getting Rich Off Ukraine War. Subtle!

Monica Crowley is one of those Fox News idiots whose name you probably hear and think, "Wait, which one is that?" Hard to say, but let's crash course real quick.

She's a massive plagiarist, having gotten caught doing it both in her Ph.D. dissertation and in her 2012 book. She thought Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs was mentally unstable because she laughed during her swearing-in. She said it meant Hobbs knew she was "illegitimate." So she's on team Kari Lake Vaseline Filter. That really tells you everything, but we can tell you more.

She's a Trump idiot, who served as a deputy assistant Treasury secretary, we are guessing because Trump saw her on Fox News and not because of her qualifications. Trump hires random people he thinks look good on TV, because he's dumb and shallow like that.

Crowley is an unhinged conspiracy theorist, who leaned heavy into the Barack Obama secret Muslim birther shit. "Can he be both loyal to Islam and loyal to the United States?” is a question she asked once.

Based on all that, we assess her to be quite stupid, batshit, and also a bigot.

So of course she's on Fox News commenting on Joe Biden's trip to Ukraine.

Normal people consider Biden's trip a triumph and a humiliation to Vladimir Putin, and normal people want Ukraine to beat back genocidal shithole Russia that invaded it and started exploding its kids. But Fox News has to paint the trip as a failure, and we don't just mean Tucker Carlson essentially reading out the Kremlin's press releases on live TV.

For a really good look at how deep the Russian propaganda has infected the brains in Imaginary Fox News Bonkers Land, check out this quick exchange between Crowley and host Jesse Watters, who is definitely also a real foreign policy expert just like Crowley is a real foreign policy expert.

As the clip begins, the on-screen graphic says "Biden's Bad Trip." His interview with Crowley begins with conspiracy theories that Joe Biden is not in charge. That Biden doesn't understand things. That he's senile. That he can't walk. All of this is projection, after these asses spent an entire presidency defending a president who couldn't stop bragging that he correctly identified the camel on the dementia test, and who looked like this walking down a ramp at West Point.

Crowley — on Fox News — said "the propaganda press had taken a page right out of Soviet propaganda," and also North Korea. She agreed that Biden doesn't understand things and cannot make sentences.

And Jesse asked:

Is the national security state telling Joe what to do? Is this the CIA and the Pentagon and some of these more hawkish advisers, are they just barreling Joe Biden towards a confrontation with Russia? Or is Joe Biden really calling the shots here?

Crowley said, "Hard to tell, Jesse." She made up a lie, or repeated a lie, about how the generals wouldn't tell Biden about the Chinese spy balloon for four days "because they knew he's really out of it and they were afraid he was going to blurt out the secret." (Here is the tick-tock of what Biden did about that dumb balloon that made all the white conservatives shit their pants so much.) She lied that "we have a commander-in-chief who is clearly not sentient most of the time."

Then she just started projectile barfing out Russian propaganda, with a soupçon of anti-Semitic dogwhistling.

CROWLEY: I think the national security state has a vested interest in keeping this war going, which is why you haven't seen any diplomatic efforts whatsoever toward peace.


There will be no "peace" without Ukraine beating the living shit out of Russia to the point that Russia will never again think of even looking at Ukraine or any other former Soviet satellite or nearby NATO nation funny. (Here's an article about Putin's plan to go after Moldova next. Here's one about his plans to officially steal Belarus.) All else is Russian propaganda dedicated to making you think Russia has some sort of valid opinion here, some kind of legitimate foreign policy aims. Putin wants to conquer and kill in the name of his warped fantasies of Making Russia Great Again.

There is no "peace plan," Elon Musk. there is no "peace plan," Donald Trump. There is no "peace plan," MAGA trash.

You want peace? You help Ukraine win.

CROWLEY: Because we're all making a fortune off of this. Right. This is a -- this is a massive money laundering operation for the globalists and the ruling elite around the world.

Ohhhh, the (((globalists))), you say? Care to elaborate about the (((globalists)))?

CROWLEY: And Joe Biden is right there. Joe Biden has a long-standing history with Ukraine in terms of that corrupt regime and corrupt entities there pouring tens of millions of dollars into the Biden family. So he doesn't have an incentive to end this war either.

And now she's just babbling conspiracy theories without even a scintilla of evidence. It is literally the shit Donald Trump was trying to get Ukraine to make up for him, as he extorted them into helping him steal the 2020 election in exchange for protection from Russia.

It's just unbelievable.

This is the shit they're funneling into your Nana's impressionable brain. We're not surprised anymore. We're just typing it down for the record.

In related news, here is Donald Trump Jr. saying Joe Biden only went to Ukraine to bury Hunter's laptop in the backyard or something.

The end.


[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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