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Donald Trump is coming to Missoula, Montana, tonight! There, he will be greeted by the fewer than 2000 people who will fit in an airplane hangar, while Missoula's hippies protest far away, from 2:30 to 6 p.m. at Playfair Park. It will be your usual EXTREMIST LEFTIST OUTSIDE AGITATOR RIOT:

The Native community will open the event. We will sing, educate ourselves on the ballot initiatives, candidates, and sign up to canvass and volunteer. We will participate in community art, sharing in food, making signs and t-shirt printing. There will be bouncy houses for kiddos and time for us to meet, talk and connect in person. We will be together.

Then there will be a rally, followed by a march, followed by VOTING. You can see why a former Montana state party chair offered to shoot everyone up, because oh shit, TIN SOLDIERS ANTIFA COMIN'.

In his first Facebook post, [former Montana GOP chair Will] Deschamps wrote: "For all the prospective attendees to the Trump event. Come early. Also all you protesters, show up as well. This is a concealed and open carry state and we know how to use em. USMC trained."
He elaborated in a second, longer Facebook Post, writing that "… protesters have become more and more brutal. They are in fact, now carrying fire arms, hardened gloves and other violent articles with them that can kill, or harm those they disagree with. Apparently, those of us that want peacful (sic) marches, are not allowed to suggest we defend ourselves."

You know what they have in Missoula? The Jeanette Rankin Peace Center, where you can buy fair-trade weavings from Guatemalan widows while contemplating the first woman in Congress, and the only member of the body to vote against entry into both World War I and World War II. You know what they don't have in Missoula? Antifa. Not even a little. But some tuff guys with guns are giant fucking scared pussies we guess!


Anyway, Will Deschamps seems to have forgotten to cut his meth Fox with anything resembling reality; Fox did indeed report that "Antifa" was out swinging swords and shitkickin' last weekend, when in fact that was white nationalist "Proud Boy" Gavin McInnes and his white power street gang; Fox really should have recognized from all his manifold guest appearances on Fox.

Will your Wonkette drive the couple hours to Missoula tonight, for you to find us and kiss us on our middle-aged-and-toddler shiny faces? We will! For the kissing and also sign making and maybe definitely some Bouncy House. Will Antifa, with their "hardened gloves" and their "fire arms" and "violent articles"? No. Deschamps is confusing neo-Nazis and Antifa again, probably because Sebastian Gorka says "there's no violence on the Right." But Antifa are the annoying people who break windows sometimes, which is stupid and counterproductive; the neo-Nazis are the ones with the guns. You can see why Deschamps, with his "fire arm," would be confused as to who has "fire arms" and does the beatdowns and also murder.

Anyway, there won't be neo-Nazis either, we don't think. Those fuckers are all up in Whitefish.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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