Welp, Global Warming had a pretty good run, but it's time to just give up the farce, kids. We have no fewer than three absolute refutations today of the crazy wackaloon theory that the Earth's climate is somehow warming due to Carbon Dioxide and other greenhouse gases, so just calm down and burn some coal, will you?

  • First up, we learn that a real scientist in Congress has blown the lid off the whole "climate change" fraud! Michigan congresspillock Dan Benishek bucked a trend among Republicans lately. Where many of his colleagues have begged off questions about climate change by saying "I'm not a scientist," Benishek proudly announced that he is too a scientist, and therefore he can say with great certainty that there's absolutely no scientific evidence for a human role in climate change, just like his big donors from the oil industry also believe.

    “The climate may be changing, but I don’t think man is contributing to it,” Benishek told ABC 10′s news director Greg Peterson, according to a Tuesday report from the Michigan news station.

    “I could throw some science at you,” Peterson pressed.

    “Well, I am a scientist,” Benishek responded. “You know, I believe in peer-reviewed science. But, I don’t see any peer-reviewed science that proves there is man-made catastrophic climate change.”

    Think Progress notes that Benishek's congressional website lays out his extensive science credentials:

    Benishek earned a Bachelor of Science degree in biology from the University of Michigan back in 1974. He went on to graduate from Wayne State Medical School in 1978, and has since worked as a general surgeon in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and worked part-time at the Oscar G. Johnson VA Medical Center in Iron Mountain.

    And if you can't trust a Medical Doctor's assessment of the current state of climate science, you probably are the sort of smarty-pants skeptic who wouldn't trust a climatologist to remove your appendix.

    This is where we remind you, because Journalistic Responsibility, that 97 percent of climate scientists agree that global warming is real, and no, sorry, surgeons and oil well engineers are not climate scientists. Then again, they're all just in it for the big grant money.

    Speaking of money, it's worth mentioning, maybe, that Dr. Benishek’s third biggest source of campaign contributions is the oil and gas industry, but that probably is just a coincidence.

  • In West Virginia, a Republican running for Senate explained that she is pretty sure that climate change is real, although maybe she's not so sure what "climate" even is, really. Rep. Shelley Moore Capito initially said in a debate Tuesday, "I don’t necessarily think the climate’s changing, no,” but then after the debate, she explained that she'd misspoken, because of course the climate changes from day to day, just look outside your window, she told reporters:

    “Is the climate changing? Yes, it’s changing, it changes all the time, we heard it raining out there ... I’m sure humans are contributing to it.”

    We will now let Neil deGrasse Tyson and his adorable labrador retriever explain one more time what the difference is between climate and weather, and why looking out the window does not tell you a goddamn thing about climate, regardless of whether you are an MD or a West Virginia congresslady who gets big contributions from the coal industry:

    We honestly have no idea why Rep. Capito thinks that humans influence the weather; maybe she saw something online about chemtrails or HAARP.

  • And finally, there's this peer-reviewed science from Twitchy. (Nine full-time bloggers surely counts as peer review, right?) Rhode Island Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse is a maroon for suggesting that increasingly high tides have anything to do with climate change, because TIDES ARE CAUSED BY THE MOON, DUMMY!Whitehouse went to Florida to see how high the tides have gotten during a "King Tide," which occurs when the alignment of the Earth, sun, and moon create especially high tides, and he tweeted, while observing the high tides,

    If we don’t #ActOnClimate, more coastal communities like these could face worsening effects of flooding & erosion

    Stupid congressninny! Tides are all DA MOON, replied Twitchy:

    Seems like he’s saying that the tides are part of the climate [...]

    Tagging pictures of a king tide with #ActOnClimate is likely intended to make some people think that the extreme tide is caused by climate change. For those who don’t default to that, you can make the claim that this predictable cyclical event will be made more extreme by the global warming that hasn’t happened in nearly two decades. The scare mongering then justifies higher taxes and more government power.

    Ah, yes, the old "no global warming for two decades" bullshit, which is, let us just reiterate, bullshit. Happily, several Twitchers jumped on Whitehouse's lies:

    Oh, YA BURNT! There is no such thing as long-term trends, and stupid liberals don't even know how da moon got dere. You can't explain it!

[ThinkProgress / Charleston Gazette via The Hill / Twitchy / Tech Times]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Arkansas Republican Senator and evil Pinocchio turned into a real live boy Tom Cotton appeared on CBS's "Face the Nation" to discuss the attacks on oil tankers on the Gulf of Oman. And while the world is still trying to confirm IF Iran perpetrated the attacks due to conflicting accounts (the US says it was Iran with mines; the Japanese shipping operator says it was a “flying object"), that hasn't stopped GOP politicians like Cotton from trying to turn this into the justification they've been looking for, for great good glorious WAR.

MARGARET BRENNAN: You have long been defined as a hawk on Iran. You see these recent attacks, these are commercial vessels not military installations. What kind of response is warranted?

: Well Iran for 40 years has engaged in this kind of attacks going back to the 1980s. In fact Ronald Reagan had to reflag a lot of vessels going through the Persian Gulf and ultimately take military action against Iran in 1988. These unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike.

: Are you- you're comparing the tanker war in the '80s to now and saying that that's the kind of military response you want to see?

COTTON: We can make a military wreck- response in a time and in a manner of our choosing. But yes, unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike against the Islamic Republic of Iran.

The goddamn “Tanker Wars"?! Oh ... you mean when, during the Iraq-Iran War, we waited until Kuwait formally asked for our assistance to escort Saddam Hussein's oil? When Reagan, without approval from Congress, reflagged Kuwaiti vessels? When Reagan got us involved in the Iraq-Iran War leading to a daylong naval battle between Iran and the US, known as Operation Praying Mantis? The conflict we jumped into that led to our mistaking an Iran Air commercial jetliner for an Iranian F-14, shooting it down and killing all 290 people onboard, including 66 children? That's what you want to repeat, Tom Cotton?! Also, whatever happened to our ally, Saddam Hussein?

They say that those who don't learn from history repeat it. Tom Cotton is here to prove Republicans never learn. Watch the video below for yourself:

Cotton says "unprovoked attacks to oil profits" from Iran "warrant a retaliatory military strike"

While Tom Cotton was justifying a war with Iran on CBS, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was having a surprisingly harder time on “Fox News Sunday" than he did on CBS when he transparently insinuated what the Trump administration really cares about with Iran ( "Texas Tea").

Pompeo: Trump doesn't war with Iran but will "defend American OIL interests"

Seems Pompeo was upset that his “beating the drums of war" shtick was being interrupted to have to answer about Trump admitting (more like bragging) it was okay to take foreign assistance (and then walking it back when all the killjoys said it was illegal). After playing the ABC News clip, Chris Wallace asked a very pointed yet direct question. Pompeo's answer, however, was far from both:

WALLACE: Is accepting oppo research from a foreign government right or wrong?

POMPEO: Chris, you know you asked me not to call any of your questions today ridiculous ... You came really close right there. (awkward giggle) President Trump has been very clear. He ... he clarified his remarks later. He ... he made it very clear. Even in his first comment. He said "I'd do both." He said he'd call the FBI ...

WALLACE: He said "Maybe I'd do both."

POMPEO: President Trump has been very clear. That he will always make sure that he gets it right for the American people and I'm confident he'll do that here as well.

It was at this moment Pompeo thought he was golden because he's on Fox News and they never follow up! But clearly he forgot Chris Wallace doesn't play like that.

WALLACE: At the risk of getting your ire, the President told "Fox and Friends" on Friday, and I agree, he kind of walked it back...

POMPEO: He didn't walk it back.

: Yes, he did. Because he said "maybe" on Thursday. And then on Friday, on "Fox and Friends," he said "he'd listen first AND then if the information was bad that he would take it to the FBI or the Attorney General." But he also made it clear to George Stephanopolous that he did not see this as "foreign interference." And I want to play a clip of the President's own words ...

Then Wallace played ANOTHER clip of Trump's idiotic words back to Pompeo. Then he asks Pompeo one more time:

WALLACE: He says "it's not interference, it's information." The country, sir, and I don't need to tell you, has a long history dating back to George Washington in saying that foreign interference in our elections is unacceptable. POMPEO: Chris, President Trump believes that too. I have nothing further to add. I came on to talk about foreign policy and I think that's the third time you've asked me about a Washington ... piece of ... silliness. That's just, that's just a story that's inconsistent with what I've seen from President Trump do every single day.

After an awkward pause and visible anger in Pompeo's face (really, do watch), Chris Wallace calls it a day ... but remembers to remind Pompeo he's a thin-skinned baby:

WALLACE: I will leave it there. I think I only asked you twice but that's alright Mr. Secretary. Thank you. Thanks for your time and Happy Father's Day, sir.

Watch the video below for yourself.

And that's all for this week in Trump's collusion and "wag the dog"/Saudi oil interest war chants. So let's end with a couple of pictures of my new puppy, Harley Quinn!

Might as well have one last nice thing before our next war or stolen election. Have a week!

OH LOOK AT THE PUPPY. Also give us money to pay the freelancers, if you are able, thank you we love you.

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