Mopey Loser Moping About Losing Election Four Months In Advance

After a dejected Donald Trump waddle-wandered off the helicopter Saturday night, he spent Sunday being really quiet. Too quiet. That's bound to happen when you over-hype a rally and bragging about a gabillion ticket requests, and then nobody shows up except some redneck garden club that needed a field trip and they had a coupon for the Cracker Barrel in Tulsa.

When you're expecting a sea of red, and the empty blue seats look like your upcoming 2020 county map, you're bound to be a little bit womp womp about life.

So Whiner McGrifterpants stayed in bed all day yesterday licking his wounds, allegedly, or so it would appear. But now he's up and at 'em and back at work tweeting a lot!

Oh fuck off. Donald Trump is the only candidate in the race with both a history of and a desire to cheat his way into an election with foreign help. He was only "elected" in 2016 with a Russian reach around, and he was impeached for trying to extort Ukraine into helping him steal 2020. John Bolton is GRR SO MAD at the way the Democrats ran the impeachment, because he says they should have also focused on his many other election-stealing attempts, like asking China to buy a buncha beans from American farmers to "make sure" he wins. (And we've said it a million times and will say it a million more, but Bolton could have said that to Congress at the time, but he was more worried about his ego and his book profits. How's that little project going for him? LOL.)

Of course, because everything with Trump is projection, especially when he's talking about crime, we should pay serious attention to attempts from Russia and China to somehow use mail-in ballots to ratfuck the election for Trump in November.

It's June, and he's already making up excuses for when he gets spanked by Joe Biden. Which is pretty fuckin' sad. President Mopey Balls is mopey, D'AWWWWWWWW.

He continued with a second tweet a couple hours later, because of how he was still upset:

It bears repeating that there is zero evidence of widespread cheating or fraud using mail-in ballots. But we understand after Saturday night why he might worried that his entire popular vote tally might be around 6,200 this year. We've all seen the poll numbers. And Trump knows, as all Republicans know, that the more people who legally participate in the election, the harder he loses.

When the baby whines, it's usually because of something he saw on Fox News. In this case, Attorney General Bill Barr lied to Fox's Maria Bartiromo his weekend, saying mail-in ballots "absolutely [open] the floodgates to fraud. Those things are delivered into mailboxes." He added, ominously, "They can be taken out."

"Right now, a foreign country could print up tens of thousands of counterfeit ballots, and be very hard for us to detect which was the right and which was the wrong ballot," Barr [said].

Uh huh, except for how mail-in ballots have special bar codes and other security measures that prevent some fucking Igor from printing his own ballot and sending it in. Barr's been lying about this for a while now, though, and since he's the most corrupt attorney general in American history, he's going to keep doing it, and so is Trump, because they need Trump's dwindling base of supporters to believe the election was #RIGGED when he loses.

Like we said above, everything with these criminals is projection, so we should be vigilant about watching out for whatever they plan to do to mess with voting, mail-in or otherwise, with the help of foreign hostile adversaries. Robert Mueller's report (which did not exonerate Trump) said Russia's campaign in 2016 was "sweeping and systematic" and he warned Congress that they'd be back with a vengeance in 2020.

Trump is whining about other shit this morning, but who gives a damn.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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