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FUCKING DEVIN NUNES needs to simmer down! This ain't Friday night at the Cow Palace, buddy. This is the United States Congress, so quit your mooing.


GEM, allegedly


DAMMIT, DEVIN! Pull it together!

Last night Fox reported that Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein threatened to MURDER HOUSE STAFFERS DEAD at a meeting in January:

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein threatened to "subpoena" emails, phone records and other documents from lawmakers and staff on a Republican-led House committee during a tense meeting earlier this year, according to emails reviewed by Fox News documenting the encounter and reflecting what aides described as a "personal attack."

Oh, really, Buttercup? You went running to tell Mommy Fox because when you threatened to hold Rod Rosenstein in contempt of Congress, he was mean to you? Well bless your little heart!

"The DAG [Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein] criticized the Committee for sending our requests in writing and was further critical of the Committee's request to have DOJ/FBI do the same when responding," the committee's then-senior counsel for counterterrorism Kash Patel wrote to the House Office of General Counsel. "Going so far as to say that if the Committee likes being litigators, then 'we [DOJ] too [are] litigators, and we will subpoena your records and your emails,' referring to HPSCI [House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence] and Congress overall."

We're going to go out on a llimb and guess Rosenstein wasn't objecting to written requests from the House Intelligence Committee. It's just possible that those ethical paragons at Fox left out some important phrasing like, perhaps "We object to records requests written in wingdings on a paper airplane Kash Patel sailed across the Committee hearing. We further object to Mr. Patel using a picture of genitalia as his signature." Because, after all, we're talking about this guy:

Kash Patel, Facebook

In 2016 when Patel worked for the Justice Department, he was so incompetent and disrespectful that a Texas judge issued him an Order of Ineptitude. So when Nunes needed a lawyer to draft his stupid Gotcha Memo proving there was NO RUSSIA! YOU ARE THE DODGY DOSSIER!, naturally he tapped Patel for the job.


Now Patel may be an incompetent boob, but there is no way on God's green earth he actually believes this shit.

A second House committee staffer at the meeting backed up Patel's account, writing: "Let me just add that watching the Deputy Attorney General launch a sustained personal attack against a congressional staffer in retaliation for vigorous oversight was astonishing and disheartening. ... Also, having the nation's #1 (for these matters) law enforcement officer threaten to 'subpoena your calls and emails' was downright chilling."

Bitch, please! FUCKING DEVIN threatened to hold the Deputy AG in contempt, and Rosenstein reminded him that every defendant has the right to discovery. And if the members of the Committee issue a contempt citation, Rosenstein will have every right to subpoena their correspondence in his own defense. And, far be it from the deputy attorney general to suggest that distinguished counsel such as Mr. Patel, who's been recognized with an Order of Ineptitude, would contemplate destruction of evidence. But, just in case, he was reminding staffers to preserve their correspondence! Or as Fox News put it:

The committee staffer noted that Rosenstein's comment could be interpreted as meaning the department would "vigorously defend a contempt action" -- which might be expected. But the staffer continued, "I also read it as a not-so-veiled threat to unleash the full prosecutorial power of the state against us."

Fox News then turned to Reps. Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan for comment.

Fox News, screengrab

Well, that was elucidating. Go on, Matt Gaetz (R-Florida Man), bring it home:

"I've heard first-hand from congressional staff following threats delivered by Rod Rosenstein," he said in a statement. "Staff has literally been scared to the point of physically shaking in my congressional office out of concern for their family."

Matt Gaetz has seen some things, man! Even once or twice when he was sober! (Allegedly.)

Okay, we're finished talking about this bullshit now. Congressional Republicans and Fox News are liar fucking liars. Third verse, same as the first.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Click here to buy us a new pair of Wellies! We've been wading through FUCKING DEVIN'S cowshit for an hour now!

[Fox / Fox, again / CNN / RawStory]

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