Congress is back in session, and Rachel Maddow couldn't be more delighted with the first-day weirdness. There's Joe Biden being the most Joe Biden he ever gets, greeting the new Senate and swearing everybody in. While there was no Ted Cruz's Jerk Baby this term, Joe did say some completely incomprehensible stuff, and also accidentally spat out the remnants of a mint while talking. Everyone was just adorable.


Over on the House side, John Boehner survived an uprising from the Louie Gohmert Asparagus Aspersions crew, with 25 members of the House voting for someone other than the Annoying Orange, including one Democrat who nominated Colin Powell as speaker. (Spoiler: He didn't win.)

And there was still more weird: Staying home in Nevada under doctor's orders, Minority leader Harry Reid sent a video of himself looking like an extra on The Walking Dead after a piece of exercise equipment broke and tried to kill him:

Do we feel just terrible that we made awful jokes about it? We already did, even as we were making them, but now we feel even more terrible. Dude looks like he was mauled by a bear.

Here is your Rachel Maddow A-segment, in two bites -- one for the Senate and one for the House:

Oh, and while the House Republicans were flirting with kicking out John Boehner for Crimes Against Conservatives, not a single one of them has suggested that Steve Scalise should step down for flirting with David Duke and his Merry Klan:

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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