This is not one of the ads just kidding yes it is just kidding no it isn't

If this is the state of the Trump campaign after the demotion of Hairball, everybody better look out, because they are making the coolest, most creative ads. We don't know why they're feeling so threatened by the Lincoln Project that they have to plant hit pieces in the New York Post, because if these ads are any indication, everybody is definitely going to rush to the polls and say, "I stand with Russia and mass pandemic graveyards, therefore I vote Trump!"

Take this Spanish-language ad, which speaks to Spanish-speaking voters right where they want to be spoken to, which is in the language of canned beans. After all, Trump is an expert on Hispanic culture. Except for that time he called Mexicans rapists and stole migrant children from their mommies at the border and put them in concentration camps and deported their families and all the other times. But he ate that taco-bowl-shaped thing from the Trump Tower taqueria, or at least he posed for a picture with it.

ANYWAY. This ad seeks to get Spanish-speaking voters on Trump's side by showing them lots and lots and lots and lots of Goya beans. We are not even sure why they needed to make it, considering how probably all Latinx Americans started donating to the Trump campaign when Ivanka tweeted that picture of herself with the Goya beans and then Trump tweeted that picture of himself with the Goya beans.

Look, Spanish speakers! Beans!


Actual line from ad, translated: "Now the Left has launched a smear campaign against Goya, THE BRAND WE LOVE, just because Goya is working with President Trump." And to sign up for their shitty list, you text "GOYA" to "88022."

Goodness, they sure do know how to talk to Hispanic people. About beans. Of which Hispanic people only ever buy one brand, which is the brand they love.


OK, so that was a pretty good ad, but this one is also pretty good. It is one of those BOO! ads, meant to make octogenarian white people — the ones who haven't died of COVID in nursing homes yet — very scared of the Antifa and the Black people.

It's not a video, just a Facebook ad, and it shows "public safety," which is Donald Trump and some mostly white people standing around, we guess they are all fucking cops. On the other side, it shows "chaos & violence," which is a picture of ANTIFA SUPER SOLDIER DOING ASSAULTS TO A BELOVED OFFICER OF THE LAW.

One teeny problem! (We mean besides what does religious freedom have to do with public safety vs. chaos & violence, looks like they're just doing madlibs with their text and pix now.)

As Business Insider explains, that picture is actually of a pro-democracy protester (an "anti-fascist" if you will) kicking the shit out of a cop IN UKRAINE, during the 2014 FREEDOM DEMONSTRATIONS, taken by a man named Mstyslav Chernov.

[T[he image the Trump campaign used is not from the US – or from this year. It was uploaded on Wikimedia Commons, Wikipedia's public-domain media archive, in 2014 with the label "a police officer attacked by protesters during clashes in Ukraine, Kyiv. Events of February 18, 2014."

Children, what was happening in 2014 in Ukraine? Oh yeah, citizens rose up against — and toppled like a Confederate statue! — garbage pro-Russian autocrat Viktor Yanukovych, in direct response to which Vladimir Putin invaded, stole, and still occupies a large piece of Ukraine.

Which side of that little historical situation was Paul Manafort on? The pro-Russian authoritarian one, AKA Yanukovych's party and also, for a long time before that, on the side of a Russian oligarch "to benefit the Putin government."

All of which reminds us that Manafort is on COVID parole and probably if we had to guess already working behind the scenes to ratfuck this election for Trump, just like he did in 2016. Hell, all the ratfuckers are out of prison at this point, save for Michael Cohen, who has been disowned from the crime family, and is currently in solitary seemingly to keep him from writing a book about Trump.

God even knows what the ratfuckers are doing, but did Manafort just happen to have Chernov's picture on his computer and send it to the Trump campaign as a good example of what happens when freedom-loving citizens rise up against actual human garbage authoritarian shitholes? (Which Manafort obviously considers a bad thing?)

We are just curious. Because of how it would really be illustrative of the situation we are actually in as a nation, in a "Which Side Are You On" kind of way.

Anyway, the Trump campaign really makes shit ads, but then again, you would too if you were trying to re-elect the stupidest most unfit man ever to occupy the Oval Office under questionable circumstances.

[Business Insider]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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