MTG Oddly Familiar With Satan's Conversations With Prospective Abortion-Havers

MTG Oddly Familiar With Satan's Conversations With Prospective Abortion-Havers

Marjorie Taylor Greene has been talking an awful lot about Satan lately. Earlier this week she was on about how the Prince of Darkness is in charge of the Catholic Church, which is actually a whole ass thing for certain evangelicals, who believe the Pope is the antichrist and that Catholics are bad for helping the poor instead of just declaring Jesus Christ as their personal savior. In that same interview, Green also told the deeply wacky traditionalist Catholic Michael Voris of all about how women get abortions because Satan tells them to.

Oddly enough, Greene was very clear on what, precisely, Satan says to these women to convince them to have abortions.

"It's whispered, softly and gently, into your ears and into your soul," the Georgia congresswoman explained, in all seriousness, clearly imagining a very sexy Satan. "And he tells you 'it's okay' and he's says 'it's just, just this one thing, you're just gonna get it done, get it over with,' and then he tells you a promise. He promises you all these dreams that you have in your heart. And that's how Satan sells a sin, and that's how he sells abortion. He tells a woman that all you have to do is you're just going to go to this clinic, just going to get it over with, you know. And then you're going to — that guy, he's gonna stay with you. that boyfriend or the guy, whoever he is, he's going to marry you, sweep you off your feet."

I, for one, would like to imagine that the sin-selling involves a little more Bob Fosse choreography than that.

Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets - Stereo - Damn Yankees 1958 - Gwen Verdon, Tab Hunter

I think we ought to be questioning how, exactly, Ms. Taylor Greene got hold of that transcript. Is she in regular contact with Lucifer? Did Beelzebub tell her that she could get a man to marry her by having an abortion? Because otherwise I can't imagine how on earth she would be able to know exactly what the Monarch of Hell would say to a woman in order to get her to have an abortion and present herself as an authority on the subject.

Now, according to the Guttmacher Institute, there are over 77 million abortions worldwide every year, and according to the musical Rent, there are only 525,600 minutes in a year. This means that Satan would have to be doing this 146 times a minute, which frankly seems like a lot even for an immortal being who probably has some kind of magic powers (I don't know what, probably he can fly or something), and that's not even counting those who defy his sin-selling and don't go on to have abortions. Note that she did not say that it would be one of Satan's minions doing this — it was Satan himself doing the sensual abortion whispering, at least 146 times a minute, while having time to run the Catholic Church, mind you. And they say you can't have it all!

Either that or Marjorie Taylor Greene is full of shit and a terrible, terrible person who wants to believe that the only reason people make choices differently than she does is because Satan is whispering in their ear telling them to do so.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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