Trump *Defense*: You Knew He Was A Tax Cheat When You Elected Him


Last week, Rep. Richard Neal, chairman of the House Ways and Means committee, asked the IRS for six years of Donald Trump's tax returns. He also won't settle for Attorney General Bill Barr summing them up for him in a text message. Trump plans to fight the request all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary, because Congress suddenly behaving like a coequal branch of government again is apparently a "gross abuse of power." Mick Mulvaney, who's been acting like Trump's chief of staff since December, stated yesterday on "Fox News Sunday" that Democrats can expect to see the president's tax returns the day after never.

MULVANEY: You always expect something from the Democrats. If they don't get what they want from the Mueller report, they're gonna ask for the taxes. If they don't get what they want on the taxes, they'll ask for something else.

That's weird. If the Mueller report was the big steaming flop the Trump administration claims, shouldn't they assume Trump's taxes would only embarrass Democrats more? And why would a businessman as good as Trump lies he is want to waste time and money to prevent the release of his perfectly on the up and up tax returns? They're certainly less trouble to dig up than someone's long-form birth certificate.

Mulvaney claims one of the "fundamental principles" of the IRS is to protect the privacy of tax cheats. This esteemed organization that took down Capone can't involve itself in a "political hit job" -- although that kinda implies there's something fishy in the returns. Mulvaney insists it doesn't matter anyway because a minority of US voters fell for obvious Russian propaganda and handed Trump a victory in the Electoral College.

MULVANEY: That's an issue that was already litigated during the election. Voters knew the president could have given his tax returns. They knew that he didn't and they elected him anyway.

That's not how elections work. There wasn't a specific ballot measure related to Trump's taxes. Bill Clinton should've had the foresight to pull this back when everyone was sweating him about Monica Lewinsky: "You guys elected me ... twice ... and I actually won the popular vote. Now let me not have sex with interns in peace."

Mulvaney thinks the voters have spoken (at least the really dumb ones) and not that they were simply outwaited by Trump, who promised dozens of times he'd release his returns tomorrow. Or Wednesday. Or just as soon as he was elected. Or when Mitt Romney did. Even sometime Trump foe Mitt Romney -- who Trump called an idiot for waiting too long to release his own tax returns in 2012 -- agrees with Mulvaney that we should just stop asking about them and wasting everyone's time. Utah's junior senator was on "Meet the Press" yesterday, lying about the Affordable Care Act. He suggested Democrats' attempts to demand transparency from the president was "moronic."

ROMNEY: I'd like the president to follow through and show his tax returns. He said he would.... I'd wish he'd do that. But I think the Democrats are just playing along his handbook... Going after his tax returns through a legislative action is moronic. That's not going to happen.

This is classic Mitt. Gosh, he really wishes Trump would make good on his promises, but if Democrats attempt to legally force him to do so, they're no better than Trump. It's not like they're literally charged with oversight over the executive branch. Besides, it'll never work so why even try? Romney used to care about seeing Trump's taxes. He said they likely contained a "bombshell." He once tweeted that "the Donald doth protest too much" and used the hashtag #WhatIsHeHiding. Then he became senator and left his binders full of dignity at home.

Republicans want to protect their feckless leader in advance of the 2020 election. However, the Democrats aren't solely motivated by politics here. Trump has defied longstanding precedent regarding the release of his taxes. If he suffers no political liability for doing so, why would any future candidate bother? And why should it stop there? The president is also under no legal obligation to have an annual physical or disclose its findings to the public. "Orange" you glad we won't be burdened with evidence of the president's obviously deteriorating mental state?


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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