Must-Read: The Katherine Harris Story You Thought They'd Never Write
As he is a Times political reporter, we've probably written (or thought) a number of nasty things about Mark Leibovich. We're past all that now, because he's written an absolutely beautiful Katherine Harris profile. Here's but a sampling:
Once Ms. Harris wins her race for a Senate seat, she says, she plans to travel everywhere with a guide dog.
Yeah, that's right. Katherine Harris -- who is not, 1908 Sears & Roebuck catalog wardrobe aside, actually blind -- will be using a seeing-eye dog. Until she fires it in a fit of pique and it starts giving anonymous quotes trashing her to Dan Balz. Also, Harris already works in the Capitol. Why wait until she's on the other end of the building before getting a dog? Is the Senate side just harder to find your way around in?
More -- so, so much more -- after the jump.
"She has absolutely no chance of winning," said former Representative Joe Scarborough, a Pensacola Republican who was courted strongly by the National Republican Senatorial Committee to oppose Ms. Harris but declined. Mr. Scarborough, the host of "Scarborough Country" on MSNBC, said Ms. Harris "seems to be detached from reality these days."
This is worrying. Once Joe Scarborough says you're "detached from reality," you are a lost cause. It's like Chris Matthews saying you're a bit of a blowhard. Joe, have you, like everyone else, forgotten the good times?
On Memorial Day, Ms. Harris rode in a parade and visited two Veterans of Foreign Wars halls and one American Legion post, and was not audibly jeered or heckled by anyone, a fact that surprises even her, "based on the press I get."
You hear that, liberal media? She was NOT AUDIBLY JEERED. Next stop: VICTORY!
But she cited her own "internal polls," which she said showed that she could get 53 percent of the vote "if my base turns out."
Hey, Katy, you "turn out" your "base," you'll get plenty more than 53 percent. (Ok, sorry, but this article is just way too intense and kind of sad for us to come up with decent double entendres. Every word in it already reads like one!)
She will care for the dog for 18 months, spending nearly all her waking hours with it. "You can't let them sleep in bed with you," Ms. Harris said. "Which is going to be harder on me than the dog."
When a supporter in a Venice veterans hall said he once witnessed Ms. Harris leave her vehicle to escort a turtle across a highway, she became gravely serious.
"All of my life I have stopped for turtles," she said firmly, even defensively, as if someone had challenged her commitment to turtle safety.
Is all of Florida on hallucinogens? Seriously? We know parts of it are swampy, but is the entire state in some sort of malaria-induced fever dream or just the American Legion and VFW halls?
And then commenced another unforgettable moment, Katherine Harris, arms over her head, dancing to "Y.M.C.A."
Mr. Leibovich, you're a high-powered Times journalists. You cover politics. You probably have a fancy smart-phone, right? And that phone probably has a camera. What we're getting at is, for the love of god, send us that picture. Because we know you took it.
Christ. After that, we need a cigarette.