My Pillow Guy Just Gonna Sue All Of The Machines, Okay? All Of Them. Stupid Machines.

Conspiracy theories
My Pillow Guy Just Gonna Sue All Of The Machines, Okay? All Of Them. Stupid Machines.

Hide your robots, hide your toaster — Mike Lindell is coming!

America's most famous pillow impresario (largely due to a lack of other pillow impresarios) has not yet given up on his dream of Making Donald Trump President Again. Yesterday, during a rally to support support of Arizona GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake Lindell announced his intentions to sue "the machines” that stole Donald Trump's rightful presidency from him.

In an statement following the appearance, Lindell clarified to The Daily Beast that he was speaking about voting machines. Although just to be safe, we should all keep a close eye on our dishwashers.

Via The Daily Beast:

“They’re defective devices,” he said, claiming he’s already gotten about 300 county officials nationwide on board. “We’re gonna get rid of these machines once and for all for any election in history.” In a late-night exchange with the Daily Beast after this story was posted, Lindell added one qualifier: “All voting machines! It is a defective product class action lawsuit.” Lake, too, is also a proponent of the false idea that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump. At the 2022 Conservative Political Action Conference, she asked the crowd to boo the media and unironically people to “tell the truth” about the election Donald Trump lost.

He's such a sad person. He's so desperate that it's hard not to feel badly for him for a moment before remembering what his deal actually is. Perhaps his best bet is just to curl up with a nice MyPillow and MyBlanket in his MyPajamas and have a good hard cry and a good long nap.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.


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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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