MyPillow Guy Has Very Exciting Thanksgiving Prophecy To Share!

Conspiracy theories

Steve Bannon, he is this guy who is made of matted rodent hair, and he's been referred to the Justice Department for contempt of Congress for failing to cooperate with the January 6 committee.

But he's got time to have the MyPillow guy on his show to talk about overturning the election their favorite loser lost. Yes, still, even after all Mike Lindell's prophecies have failed to come true, these people are still working their grift, and now Lindell says the Supreme Court is going to do the thing with the election on Thanksgiving week.

But listen, because it's even more than that. On a recent episode of the Steve Bannon podcast, Lindell announced that on his weird Frank website, he will be doing a MANY DAY Thanksgiving telecast, of all the proof the election was stolen from Dear Leader Trump. And Steve Bannon says for this Lindell is a "genius" and that there are going to be "fistfights" at all the dinner tables, because of the wonders the MyPillow guy has revealed.

You betcha.


www.youtube.com

Let them explain:

LINDELL: This is absolutely the biggest cover-up for the biggest crime in history. And it's really sad. I cannot wait to drop this Supreme Court case the Tuesday at 9 a.m. before Thanksgiving and the whole world is going to be watching all this unfold over Thanksgiving.

The whole world.

LINDELL: And we're actually gonna do a marathon, Steve, from Wednesday night of Thanksgiving all the way through to Sunday on FrankSpeech dot com.

In case you were wondering if anybody had actually invited Mike Lindell to share a Thanksgiving meal. Looks like he may have gone ahead and made some plans for himself.

At this point Bannon told Lindell to "slow down" — with a smirk on his face, it should be noted, not that we are suggesting he doesn't actually believe Lindell's conspiracy theories in his heart — and clarified that Lindell was saying that on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, he was going to drop a lawsuit that will have "some sort of sponsorship or somebody who's got standing that's not Mike Lindell." Was Mike Lindell really saying a state's attorney general was going to sign on to this? Yes, he said! And why would anybody doubt him? His prophecies have always come true before. And it's going to be "9-0," Lindell said, that the Supreme Court would at least want to look at his very good lawsuit.

AND THEN:

LINDELL: And you're going to be sitting around the table — this is very important to our country and the world — everyone can be sitting around the table and going, 'Hey, what do you think of that? You think the Supreme Court is going to accept it and protect our country like they're supposed to?'

Totally.

BANNON: What I love about this — they said, hey, if you just get Trump out, orange man bad, and you get Biden, you can start having holidays again without arguing at the table and at each other's throats.

But Mike Lindell comes in, and he's going to go the Wednesday, the eve of Thanksgiving, on a marathon, so you can go back and have fistfights. The family squabbles. Lindell, you're a genius!

Steve Bannon is fantasizing about fistfights at Thanksgiving tables because America's families are sitting together watching FrankSpeech dot com. And he's calling the MyPillow Guy a genius.

But no, Lindell protested, there would not be fistfights, because the delusional squirrels who live in his butt actually believe his Thanksgiving broadcast is going to bring America together, and here's why:

LINDELL: No, no, no it's different now! Thirty-some percent of Democrats now believe this country was stoled and through the machines. This is going to be a uniting! Not a dividing!

Like we said, delusional squirrels.

And we swear to God it sounded like he said "stoled," so we're going with it, with the proviso that we could have heard it wrong.

Wonkette predicts Lindell's Thanksgiving prophecy will fail to come true just in time for him to issue a new Christmas prophecy, God bless us everyone.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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