MyPillow Guy Reschedules Trump's Triumphant Return For 'Fall'

The goalposts are about to leave the stadium, kids.

Couple weeks ago, Mike Lindell, el hombre de las almohadas, was admitting it was probably his babbling that put the idea in Donald Trump's small head that he should be president again by August. That was when the Supreme Court was gonna see it, even though they weren't going to be in session, and they were gonna rule nine-zip to TAKE IT DOWN and re-install Trump as Dear Leader for life maybe, we dunno.

We regret to inform you that the tentative date has moved (again). Right Wing Watch reports on one of those wackass QAnon Jesus traveling roadshows that happened in Florida over the weekend, a rally called "Restore America." Of course, Lindell had a primo speaker's slot, because he's one of America's most prominent current grifters.

Like any good conman, Lindell didn't emphasize that he had moved the goalposts (again). He just kinda glossed over it, while he sold his fever dream of dictatorship and millions and billions of pillows:

Lindell said that none of his efforts have been successful so far "because we've been living in the twilight zone," complaining that "every time you have something real, they're going, 'We don't we're not gonna look at it,' or the judges go, 'We're not gonna look at it.'"

Yeah, that's definitely why.

"But you see, that's all changing," Lindell promised.

It's all changing.

"What I'm going to do to get this to the world, it's called a cyber symposium."

A cyber symposium!

"And what it is, is I'm going to have a venue at the end of July—it's your job, everybody, to get the word out to the world—we're going to get every cyber guy that has credentials—they're called CISSP credentials—they're going to be there."

The cyber symposium! In July! With the cyber guys!

"We're bringing in all the cyber guys," he continued. "They're gonna be there. Then we're bringing all the media. Maybe even Fox will show up! What a concept. And then we're going to bring in all senators, governors—even the corrupt ones, Brian Kemp—and legislatures, secretary of states, and every single government official that wants to be there, because when we show them these packet captures, we're gonna just give them out to all them cyber guys so they can have their own guy go, 'How many votes were flipped here in Tampa?' Here you go. Boom."

Boom! The packet captures! They're gonna see 'em! And they're gonna say boom! Everybody's gonna be there, at the cyber symposium. Boom!

"It's going to be a worldwide event. Millions are going to see it ... "


"And those Supreme Court justices are going to look at it then ... "

We guess the Supreme Court is going to be at the cyber symposium. Maybe it will be like a field trip.

"And they're going to go 9-0 that this country was attacked. The election is gonna come down. Donald Trump will be in office by this fall, for sure."

Just right then and there, they're gonna go 9-0. Justice Elena Kagan will say, "Hey Justice Sotomayor, we goin' 9-0?" And Sotomayor will say "Oh yeah, we're goin' 9-0. I saw it in the packet captures they gave me with the free tote bag." And then they will all go get funnel cakes together, the whole Supreme Court, just after they pull down the election, on a convention floor in Tampa or something.

Of course, now it's happening in "fall." We guess August just didn't work out.

If you haven't seen Jordan Klepper from "The Daily Show" fucking with Lindell at his recent MAGA Frank rally, enjoy it in your OPEN THREAD.

[Right Wing Watch]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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