MyPillow Guy's Thanksgiving Prophecies ... Not Coming True, Maybe?

Conspiracy theories
MyPillow Guy's Thanksgiving Prophecies ... Not Coming True, Maybe?
My Pillow Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

So here we are. Thanksgiving week.

One month ago, MyPillow dude Mike Lindell told now-indicted dude Steve Bannon a very special Thanksgiving prophecy. Surprise, it was that he was going to reveal all the secrets of the stolen election, and as a result, there would be "fistfights" at all the Thanksgiving tables. He said he was going to "drop this Supreme Court case" the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. (That's today.) You know, like it's a new Taylor Swift album. And as a result of this, the Supreme Court would do ... something. (Only thing SCOTUS has done this week is unanimously handed Mississippi its ass in an aquifer rights case against Tennessee. Suck it, Mississippi!)

Anyway, obviously Lindell's prophecies have always come true, no reason to question them now.

But wait, what is this? Why did Lindell miss his own deadline for showing the Supreme Court who's boss? Well, it was Republican National Committee chair Ronna Romney McDaniel's fault, you see. She silenced him. Daily Beast explains:

It was a last-minute pressure campaign orchestrated by the RNC and McDaniel that prevented his case from moving forward and "saving the country," Lindell now alleges.

For sure.

"We believe that they have reached out to multiple [attorneys general] and put pressure on them, not to sign the Supreme Court complaint," Lindell said Monday on his evening livestream, this time from aboard his private plane as he scrambled to lock down the signatures required to file his complaint with the high court.

Ronna McDaniel is secretly on the phone begging the Republican attorneys general not to sign Mike Lindell's fingerpainting legal proof. Definitely.

With a poor WiFi connection marring his live-streamed rant

Also a conspiracy?

Lindell blasted McDaniel, alleging she orchestrated a vast Republican conspiracy against him when she finally acknowledged late last week that President Joe Biden won the 2020 election.

"How dare the RNC try and stop this case from getting to the Supreme Court. Shame on you, RNC! You are worse than Fox [News] now!"

Hahahaha, amazing.

"You can't tell me why Ronna McDaniel, the head of the RNC, made a statement saying Biden won three days before this Supreme Court complaint was supposed to go to the Supreme Court."

"Was supposed to" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, we think.

"What about the timing of that, America!" he continued. "Why would she say that at that moment in time? She didn't have to say that. What, is she trying to get more donor money? Is she trying to get donor money from Democrats? She is as RINO as they come!"

So angry.

The Beast reports that Lindell said Republican attorneys general are asking him for more time before signing onto his normal serious legal filing he's definitely taking to the Supreme Court. We bet they are taking it just that seriously.

It continues:

Clearly irate and yelling over the roar of his plane's engines ...

Oh my God.

Lindell argued that if the predominantly Republican state attorneys general ultimately refuse to sign onto his Supreme Court filing, the pillow baron—never oneto back downfrom a delusional pursuit—has a backup plan.

When we wrote about Lindell's Thanksgiving prophecy, we said he'd almost certainly withdraw it upon its failure and immediately declare some new plan. And that plan is to ... just put his legal proof on his dumb website, we think? Which is probably the legal equivalent of filing it with the Supreme Court? Sure why not.

"We do have a copy of the complaint," which Lindell said he would simply release to the public on Thanksgiving Day if it ends up not being filed due to a lack of signatures. "Worst-case scenario, let's say, a lot of them want to delay signing it," he added, under the impression his fervent supporters would then mount local pressure campaigns against their own state attorneys general after seeing the contents of his filing.

Additionally, the pillow tycoon claimed late Monday that he was making a last-minute sprint across five states in the dead of night to convince attorneys general to sign his papers. "I am on my way to another city," he asserted, adding that if they don't sign by Tuesday he can always try to get them to sign by Wednesday.

"Worst-case scenario because what is going on out there with the RNC," he said. "Shame on them. How dare they!"

Because of what Ronna McDaniel did to him. Gotcha.

The article ends with the Daily Beast explaining that they reached out today to find out where the fuck the MyPillow Guy's Supreme Court brief is and he yelled at them and said if they call him again, he is going to sue.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mike Lindell, you completely bonkers weirdass.

[Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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