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She borrows back the gavel from time to time to stick it up Ryan's ass.


Oh, Nancy Pelosi, how we miss thee being the boss of us in the House of Representatives. But for now, fresh-faced boy wonder Paul Ryan is the boss of us, and he is twisting his titties into a knot trying to say out of one toned buttcheek that Donald Trump is a "textbook racist" and oh so naughty, but out of the other buttcheek, he's like "Trump 2016!" Poor thing. He tried so hard to get out of the position he's in right now, as the leader of the most dysfunctional herd of syphilitic wombat farts the world has ever seen, AKA House Republicans.

But lead, he must. And in response, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi must troll, and she also must hate, and she must close the door to her office right now, because she is giggling so hard over the press release her office just sent out about Paul Ryan:

Now, if you can't embiggen that, here is what it says:

Washington, D.C. -- Speaker Paul Ryan will not be available to answer your questions today about his surrender to Donald Trump. Speaker Ryan has cancelled his regular Wednesday press conference so you don't ask him about Donald Trump's racist commentary against a federal judge, and why, ahead of their national security agenda rollout tomorrow, the House GOP wants to hand the nuclear codes to a person who engages in textbook racism.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/602672/lets-delve-into-paul-ryans-fabulously-detailed-plan-for-a-better-america"></a>[/wonkbar]LOL-lerskates! Paul Ryan is probably in the House gym right now, doing all his lifting, bro, and hoping no mean reporters make him answer hard questions. Then he will go up to his office and write a House GOP national security plan, since Nancy Pelosi's office just reminded him he forgot to do that. And it needs to be at least as awesome as his rock 'em sock 'em plan for helping the poors. Homeworks is tough!

It's also funny because actually Ryan did cancel his press conference. He says it is because Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi is in town and it's Ryan's job to entertain him, lest he get bored and want to go back to India. But the real truth is probably that he's a gi-normous wussbaby, as Our Nancy suggests.

This isn't the first time Pelosi has trolled for funsies. Remember, during the fight over the confederate treason slavery flag, when she introduced a resolution to ban its display in the U.S. Capitol, which would have, in effect, banned the Mississippi state flag?

Remember when drunk old John Boehner turned 65-drunk-ass-years-old, and Pelosi tweetered him a birthday greeting abut "HAHA U R ON MEDICARE AND SOCIAL SECURITY NOW"? It's funny because Republicans like Boehner are always trying to kill those things!

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/484122/nancy-pelosi-apparently-does-not-care-for-that-whippersnapper-rep-paul-ryan"></a>[/wonkbar]Remember when Nancy "celebrated" Paul Ryan's return to Congress in 2012, by making a special video of a bunch of times Ryan made words stupid with his purty mouth?

And now here she is, chuckle-snorting about Ryan being a stone-cold weenus who's too scared to answer questions about big mean tiny-pawed Donald Trump. Well played, ma'am, WELL PLAYED.

[The Hill / Pelosi Chief Of Staff Drew Hammill]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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