National Security and the Curse of Crap Metal

Duh huh? - WonketteSandia National Laboratory, which once produced fantastic death ray weapons and nuclear bombs to keep America strong, had to fire a gal for using the government's supercomputers to access the cell phone account of some rap-metal idiot.

Devon Townsend is accused of breaking into the Verizon account of "Chester Bennington" -- who leads an angry-white-guy faux-hip hop outfit called "Linkin Park." She read his call logs, downloaded his camera-phone pictures and finally threatened his wife. Townsend is 27 years old and apparently just literate enough to work for the government's secret Death Ray lab. This country is so fucked.

"We're in a different age, and fans have more skills than they used to," Townsend's attorney said. Yeah, especially if they have government supercomputers and DoE clearance. In the old days, everybody on the Manhattan Project had to take a train to New Jersey to dig through Frank Sinatra's mail, and that's why we all speak Japanese today.

UPDATE, BREAKING, ANIMATED SIREN GIF: Commenter CreepMouse actually dug up Townsend's typically shitty MySpace page. You have been warned.

Linkin Park, national security mash-up [Mercury News]


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